One Day, We Was In Religious Education With A Nun Who Used To Teach Us.. Sister Carmichael Her Name Was && She Asked Us Who Knew Where Baby Jesus Was Born.. Straight Away Ian Put His Hand Up && Said, “Sister, He Was Born In Them Flats In Bewley Drive, Just Near The Carers Centre..” The Class Was In hysterics, Except For Sister Carmichael.. She Just Told Ian That He Wasnt Funny && To Stop Clownin Around.. Ian Said, “Am Not Clownin Sister, His Dad Worked In Motor Worx Repair Shop.. Me Dad Always Says If Ya Engine Needs A Tune Up Go && See Joseph At Motor Worx!!” Sister Carmichael Told Him To Go && Stand Outside The Head Masters Office && When He Asked Why He Was There He Was To Tell Him It Was For Bein Blasphemous.. You Could Tell That Even She Was Trying Her Hardest Not To Laugh.. As He Walked Out The Door He Muttered To Himself, “Bet The Head Knows Him Too, Bet He Has A Pint With Him In The Falcon On A Friday Night..” That Was It, We Was All Off Laughin Again..
Peter Kay Was Sayin On The Telly That A Teacher Used To Say To Him, “What You Goin To Be When Ya Grow Up, Kay?? A Comedian??” That Was Just What I Thought Ian Could Of Been.. He Used To Make Everyone Laugh.. There Was Only A Couple Of Lads In Our School Who Never Got Bullied By Bigger Lads && They Were The Bullies Themseleves && Ian Cos He Just Made Everyone Laugh.. If Ya Got Bullied Ya Either Had To Fight Back Or If You Were Ian, Ya Made The Bullies Laugh Instead && Then They Become Ya Mate..
Years Later When We Left School Him && His Girlfriend Had A Baby.. They Was Only Young, I Think He Was 17 && She Was Only 16 Bt He Was Made Up.. I Saw Him Around A Few Times With The Baby && She Was One Of Them Babies That Used To Get Ya All Broody Cos She Was So Cute.. Lyk Always Happens Though, I Didnt See Him For Ages Bt I Did Hear That His Girlfriend Had Cheated On Him With One Of His Mates && Left Him.. He Was Devoed.. Next Thing He Lost His Job && Started Gettin In With Druggies && Spent His Life Drinkin && Takin Drugs..
Then One Day About Two Years Ago I Saw Him For The First Time In About Five Or Six Years.. I Walked Straight Passed Him Cos I Didnt Recognise Him && He Called After Me.. I Turned Back To See Who It Was && Realised It Was Ian.. All His Face Was Sunken Lyk A Real Druggie && He Had Lost That Much Weight That I Dont Think He Could Of Lost Anymore Even If He Tried.. I Told Him I Hadnt Recognised Him && Asked How He Was && It Was Lyk He Wasnt There.. The Old Ian Who Was So Fast With The Funny Answers That He Even Had Sister Carmichael Secretly Laughin All Them Years Ago, Was Long Gone.. It Took Him About Thirty Seconds To Get A Sentence Out.. He Told Me How Nice It Was To See Me Again && Asked If I Had Any Money To Borrow Him.. I Made An Excuse Not To Give Him Any Cos I Knew What He Would Spend It On.. I Also Noticed That He Had Been Sittin On A Wall Outside Rowlands Pharmacy, I Bet He Was Waitin For His Methadone Or Something.. Instead Of Givin Him Money I Invited Him Round To Ours For Some Scran && A Catch Up Lyk Old Times.. He Said He Had A Few Things To See To Bt He Would Be Round Later On..
He Never Turned Up..
About Six Months After Tha Some Lady Walkin Her Dog In Webster Park Found Him Dead In The Bushes.. The Coroner Said He Died Frm An Overdose Of Heroin Which He Took On Top Of His Methadone && Then He Took Some Ketamine On Top Of That Lot Just For A Laugh.. He Was In The Park Cos His Family Had Kicked Him Out && Disowned Him Cos They Were Fed Up Of Him Stealin Stuff Off Them To Sell For Drugs.. The Final Straw Was When He Stole The Family Dog && Sold Him For Drug Money..
I Bet He Thought Everyone Had Just Given Up On Him Or Didnt Want To Know.. I Bet He Couldnt Imagine That I Would Be Sittin Here Now Writin This With Tears Streamin Down Me Face Cos Of The F*ckin Waste Of A Life..
That Was About 18 Months Ago && I Still Cant Get It Into My Head How Someone So Bright, So Funny && Quick Witted Can Just Throw It All Away Lyk That..
Sorry To Be So Depressin..
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