Lestly In The Hizzouse #25

Posted by Lester B. on
Category: Lester's Column34 Comments

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Iknow Davidd says that Jammy Toast doesn’t do politics and so I run the risk of having this turned down for posting – again – but I think I should send it anyway. Besides, it is only political in that I am accusing them of all being as bad as each other. In fact, I am of the political ideology that says, “The desire to become a politician should be enough to ban you from ever becoming one.” Every politician I have ever heard always climbs on their soap box and tells you what they can do for the world. How they are going to make it better and if they get into office you will want for nothing. What a lying bunch of inbred bastards. Why would anyone want to become a politician when they can earn much more money working in the real world? Answer; they have found a way to cheat their way into earning even more through backhanders and under the table, that is how. Let me tell you what has brought me to this conclusion…

I was recently driving home when Nat, my housemate, rang to say we needed a few things and could I pick them up on the way because she had forgotten to. I made a detour to call off at a local store. It is getting pretty cold over here at the moment and so I had to don my coat for the thirty second walk to the store from where I had parked. Sitting on the sidewalk outside the store is a homeless guy with about six coats wrapped around him begging for money. I make it a habit not to give to street beggars in case I am supporting the local drug dealers but this guy looked in a pretty bad way. I was going into the store, so I asked him if there was anything he wanted.

He immediately dispelled all my worries about him being a user by telling me that a sandwich would go down great.

I picked up the few things Nat had asked me to bring home and a sandwich for sidewalk guy. The store had a Costa Coffee vending machine so I bought him one hoping that would warm him up for a short while. On the way back to the car I was feeling pretty smug with myself for the little favour I had done for the guy. That is when I started thinking about politics.

In this day and age – with all the money the western world has – why do we have people sitting on the streets begging for food? It actually made me quite angry thinking about it. If that is the best we can do then the world is already down the shitter. My mood wasn’t lightened by the news that night telling me that four homeless people had died in the Chinatown area of New York City that day and that one of them had been living down a manhole – no one knew who he was and no one turned up to identify the body. Another homeless guy was beaten to death by a bunch of rich kids because they thought it would be a fun thing to do only a couple of days later.

What are the politicians doing about this situation? They are employing more mental-health outreach workers – wow, excuse me while I act a little underwhelmed about that response.

I made another detour the next night to see if sidewalk guy was still there, but he had disappeared.

You guys in the UK have an election coming up while ours is due next year. Maybe we should be asking the politicians standing for these elections a few questions?

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About the Author

Lester B.

A number of things have been pointed out to me lately: I have a mole on my nose which I was completely unaware of, I also have rather mad hair, old glasses and a bit of a wonky-donkey going on. It also appears that I have love-handles because I am getting lax in my exercise routine and a fondness for rubber tree plants. Chimpy even says if she ever met me she would pretend she never knew me.

34 Comments on “Lestly In The Hizzouse #25”

  1. My ex wife’s sister lives in Watford. This is personal. Very good draw. Premier League opposition and a trip to London without having to go as far as actual London. Draw, then beat them at Prenton Park.

  2. I don’t normally comment on L’s posts but this hits hard in my home town. Having worked in the homeless sector its fucking awful when bafoons in government label anyone without a job or who find themselves in a shitty situation as louts or thick. I wish things could change, however as usual money talks. Those elite will continue to vote and keep dickwads such as Boris in high positions because wealth looks after wealth. Its a real sad world and I for one fucking hate it.

    1. Just found it thank god. At the bottom of my bag which is like the tardis, wrapped round an (unused) tampax and stuck to a chewy.

      The tories are still cunts tho!

  3. Some little shit called Joseph grassed on my 5 year old for not having her school tie on. Hope his ma likes getting a wedgie in the school playground tomorrow.

  4. Rolf report Dec 3

    It was my last cat cafe of the Autumn term. 150 students visited me in the university library. I was very lively, playing with shoelaces & ping pong balls. My family is so happy that I can give back to a campus community that embraces me & keeps me safe.

    Rolf x


    I want some crackers,
    And I want some candy;
    I think a box of chocolates
    Would come in handy;
    And, oh! Father Christmas, if you love me at all,
    Bring me a big, red India-rubber ball!

  6. Floods of tears in the Wakeman household yesterday as Harry finally lost his fight for life . He’s up in cat heaven now with George chasing leaves and Rachel and I will miss him so much . Our pets have always been more than pets . They are family, as indeed all pets should be.

  7. There’s a couple in my job they come to work together go to lunch together go the gym together and go home and spend the night together like how have they not battered each other?

  8. There’s a woman who stands outside my work screaming in your face for money and throwing insults if you ignore her. I’d love to slap her the bitch. There’s loads of genuine people who’d love a coat though go through a organisation to save yourself hassle.

  9. Disappointing news: the Revd James Cocke, Vicar of All Saints’ Highfield, has announced his intention to retire, but he arrived only in 1957 and will have completed barely 62 years in office. What a BOLTER!

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