I Was Off Work Last Sunday && It Was A Nice Day.. We Had Been Workin At Tryin To Find Gary A Job Most Of The Day, Which Is Dead Borin Work, So I Said Come On Lets F*ck Off Out && Take The Dog For A Walk.. Me Mum Said She Would Come With Us Too So We All Piled In Me Car && Drove Off To Croxteth Park.. There Is Animals In Croxteth Park && A Pettin Zoo, So Ya Hve To Keep Ya Dogs On A Lead Which Was Fine By Me Bt I Think Luna Was Gettin A Bit Bored.. We Was Walkin Along A Pathway When This Little Dog Come Runnin Over To Us.. Luna Doesnt Lyk Other Dogs, Especially Not Small Ones && She Hates Other Dogs Sniffin Her Bum.. So This Little Dog Come Runnin Up && Started Sniffin Her Bum.. Luna Went Nuts && Started Growlin && Barkin At This Other Dog.. I Started Lookin Round For The Dogs Owner && There Is This Woman Walkin Towards Us Dead Slow Lyk She Hasnt Got A Care In The Whole World..
I Shouted At Her That If This Was Her Dog She Better Come && Get It.. She Shouted Back That The Dog Was Friendly && Wouldnt Do Anything.. So Gary Give Me Lunas Lead && Went To Get Hold Of Her Dog By Its Collar To Pull It Away Frm Luna && Keep Hold Of It Until The Lady Got To Us.. The Dog Turned Round && Bit Him – So Much For Bein Friendly.. Luna Was Goin Nuts By This Point && I Couldnt Keep Her Away Frm This Other Dog So She Jumped On It && Was Givin It A Good Bite.. She Is Pretty Big && Strong, Shes Half Labrador && Half Staffy So The Other Dog Was Gettin The Shit Kicked Out Of It..
The Woman Finally Made It To Us && Started Screamin That Our Dog Needs Puttin Down, It Is A Dangerous Dog && All The Rest Of The Shit That These People Shout At Ya.. She Starts Threatenin Us With Callin The Police && Reportin Us For Havin A Dangerous, Out Of Control Dog.. I Say To Her That Ya Dog Is Meant To Be On A Lead In Croxteth Park, There Are Signs Everywhere && Her Dog Is Clearly Not On A Lead.. I Said There Is Only One Person Gettin In Trouble With The Police && That Is Her.. Her Dog Is Off Lead, It Is Runnin At Other Dogs && It Has Bitten Gary.. That Shut The Little Bastard Up && She Just Got Hold Of Her Dog && Legged It Quick Before We Got Her Details Or Car Reg..
A Park Ranger Come Over To Us && Give Us His Name && Said That He Had Seen Everythin && It Was Clearly The Other Dog Owners Fault For Not Keepin Her Dog Under Control.. If There Was Any Come Back Just Get In Touch With Him.. It Had Been A Nice Day && All We Wanted Was A Nice Walk With The Dog Bt Now We Were All On Edge && The Dog Needed To Go The Emergency Vet && Gary Probably Needed To Go && Get A Tetanus Or Something..
Me Mum Was Stressed Out, So We Took Her Home First && Then Took Luna To The Emergency Vets To Get Her Checked Out.. She Had A Nasty Bite Mark On Her Side So It Was Best To Be Safe.. While We Was Sittin Waitin In The Vets Gary Was Lookin At His Hand That Got Bit && There Was All Lyk Stuff Comin Out Of The Wound.. It Looked A Bit Lyk Blood && Puss Bt How Could Ya Get An Infection That Quick, Didnt Make Sense..
We Got Luna Seen To — It Was Just A Bite && They Give Us Some Anti-Biotics && Some Cream To Put On It — && Then We Took Her Home && Headed To A&E To Get Gary Seen To.. What A Bloody Day!! We Are Meant To Be Goin On Holiday Next Tuesday && I Could See Us Not Bein Able To Go Cos He Is Infected Or Somethin.. Luckily They Said He Didnt Need A Tetanus Cos He Had Them At School && He Was Still Covered && Give Him Some Anti-Biotics, So That The Bite Didnt Get Infected..
Everythin Was Okay && Looked Lyk The Holiday Was Still On As Long As Boris Doesnt Upset It All!!
On Monday, I Go To Work && Gary Goes Off To Do Some Work For A Roofer.. Its Only Labourin Bt Its Great Until Somethin Comes Along That Is Better.. Lunch Time I Get A Call Frm Garys Mum, He Has Only Fallen Off Some Scaffoldin && Fucked His Back Up!!
Everyone Is Determined Am Not Goin On This Holiday!!
Traa xx
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62 Comments on “My Diary #1”
It could have been a lot worse. Gary could have needed rabies shots! I’m sure he’s happy to have you to nurse him back to health. Have a fabulous holiday, and make sure you think of us every day at Jammy Toast!
Your diary will make it just like the good old days.
Why do people let their dogs loose when it clearly says dogs must be on a lead. They do it everywhere!
The brass neck on some people. It was clearly that woman’s fault!
People always say their dog is friendly just before it takes a chunk out of you.
I bet she legged it too the cheeky cow.
If everyone just kept their dogs on a lead this wouldn’t happen.
You have to always remember, you have a wolf in your living room.
The couple who’s dog killed their child this week are till saying their dog was friendly I see.
I hope you see her in the street sometime, I’d be having a word.
Anyone had any hacked netflix emails? Some tw@t has been watching my netflix in India!
I’d be kicking the dog nevermind waiting for his owner to wander over to you. x
Started fake crying in work today to see if any of the kids would be assed and one of them lashed a 4×4 dump truck off me head.
What a scumbag!!
Nah why the f*ck are people even letting their dogs run loose like that? They have sheep in their and if the dog ends up attacking them it will get shot!
Andreaa, I wouldn’t leave Dave in charge of the monkey house!
You mean the Bear House?
Have a great holibob girl!!
Some people are just vile…
Life’s too short to spend a third of it sleeping and two thirds stoned.
Anyone goes near my dog they’re gettin their neck broken!!
You’re an idiot, babe. It’s a wonder that you still know how to breathe.
Can’t wait to have another crack at ruining my life.
Heavy one bro, hows his back?
Instead of the endless carping about not having a parachute you should actually be celebrating the phenomenal speed at which you are falling towards the ground.
Racing home before midnight so that The Covid can’t get me.
Cockney Bloody Bob!
Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a week at a festival!!
I love how a world renowned virologist will tweet about the pandemic & a random bloke with the wrestler Big Daddy as his profile pic will reply with
“Mate, I’ve watched Outbreak like 3 times. Stop talking bollocks”
Well said Jacob Rees Mogg – stop your “endless carping” and be grateful for the “phenomenal success” of our testing system. In other words “Plebs ought to shut their cake holes and die quietly”.
Sleep, weh yuh deh?
All shenanigans are suspended until further notice.
Due to Covid restrictions on the island we’re now offering a new program where we’ll let you take a dinosaur home for a few hours…
Your house has to have a fence around it though!
My heart is broken .. 13 years my best mate love you forever my Zeussy!
Good morning to everyone apart from those who call plain crisps, ready salted.
Rolf report 18 Sept
Some friends have asked where my American human (AH) is as my recent posts have come from the home of my campus mom, Dr Claudia. My family just lent me to support Claudia as she prepares for the start of term. AH is back with my report today.
Rolf x
Another ‘Nothing Happening’ video yesterday. Someone needs to tell my human to stop doing these little films, and to find something interesting instead. I mean, what’s interesting about Barbara and I walking up the drive? It takes all sorts I suppose.
I had a bottle of wine last night, I normally wake up at 5 with the fear delete tweets snap story etc then go back asleep, the cbd got me not even arsed if I’ve made a show of myself anymore hahaha
Marmite and tripe. What’s not to like?
Just got tha iOS 14 update can someone tell me whats different cos i feel used an abused!
Morning. Happy Friday!!!
Everyone’s in a belter mood hahahaha can’t half tell it’s a Friday, love all tha.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but wash/change your face mask it’s fucking hanging ye dirty bastid!
What times lockdown coming down Queens Drive?
ITS GOGGLEBOX FRIDAY!!!!
Universe, come sit down, me and you need to have a chat real quick.
Feeling dead today.
Thatcher’s alive and she’s living in Cuba with Tupac and it’s up to us to get her!
The gafs fucked!
Lay, lady, lay. Lay across my big, brass bed.
I Just Sneezed Have I Got Coronavirus??
This year’s Comedy Foodstuff Awards were regrettably cancelled, so it’s nice to know that tripe is the ‘People’s Choice’ for winner beating bananas and kippers!
I should be able to take my daughter out of school or just send her a few days a week or somthing to many people on that school run mate its carnage!
What is the difference between meeting in the garden and meeting in the pub? I hate this country!
Here’s a little reminder that we’re not paying Facebook for ads at the moment. You can find out more about the boycott here:
https://stophateforprofit.org
So what can we do and not do now then? I’ve been self isolating for 15 years so won’t affect me!
so basically chippy tits has grounded us all for being naughty. i hate this life. i didn’t ask to be born.
Book a log cabin for next weekend an boris lashes us on lockdown!
Are the doubters now believers yet?
This next lock down is going to be different from the last. Any trust in this shit shower of a government has gone. All that’s left is simmering resentment. No more spitfires and clapping on the doorstep just bitterness and disappointment.
YES i’m staying in for the 4th weekend on the run and YES i’ll be sober again. stop going on about it…
If you get lost, fire the flare gun we gave you when you first entered the park.