My Diary #12

Posted by Andreaa Kurby on
Category: From Jammy Toast, My Diary72 Comments

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IHave Somethin I Have Got To Tell Yas All.. Somethin I Have Been Keepin Quiet For Quite A Few Weeks Now.. Davidd Knows && Me Family Know, Bt I Have Kept It Quiet Frm Everyone Else Cos I Dont Want To Tempt Fate.. I Am Pregnant.. The Baby Is Due The Middle Of July Bt I Have A JLS Concert To Go To The Beginnin Of July So It Better Not Want To Make An Escape Early!! That Means Am Nearly Two Months Pregnant && So There Is Less Chance Of Me Havin Another Miscarriage.. As Yas All Know, I Have Had Two Miscarriges Before So I Didnt Want To Tell Anyone Early && Tempt Fate.. Needless To Say I Am Made Up && Just Want Everythin To Work Out Okay.. Every Little Thing Scares Me At The Moment Cos Of My History Of Miscarriages.. I Had An Early Scan To Make Sure That Everythin Looked Okay && At That Time Everythin Was Perfect.. They Cant Tell Ya The Sex That Early Though So I Dont Know If It Is A Boy Or A Girl.. Davidd Is Obsessed With How Big The Baby Is Bt At Seven Weeks It Is Only The Size Of A Baked Bean Apparently..

I Have Been Havin Terrible Mornin Sickness Except It Is Not Just In The Mornings.. I Dont Mind That, I Can Live With It Bt Then The Last Weekend It Stopped && That Made Me Panic Even More.. Bt Luckily It Started Again On Monday Which Is Meant To Be A Good Sign.. Also, After Two Months There Is Meant To Be Much Less Chance Of Havin A Miscarriage So Am Nearly There Now.. Ive Got All Me Fingers && Toes Crossed && Gary Keeps Tellin Me To Chill Out && Relax Whenever I Get Worked Up About Anything.. As Most Of Ya Probably Know, I Am Not Really The Short To Chill && Take Stuff Easy..

Me Mum Is Made Up && It Seems To Have Cheered Her Up A Bit.. She Is Not In A Nark With The World At The Moment Which Is Great.. Rest Of The Family Too Are Made Up && Gary Has Been Decoratin The Spare Bedroom To Make It Into A Nursey.. The Wallpaper Is All Disneys Dumbo With Dumbo Stickers On The Walls.. They Are All In Grey So It Will Suit A Boy Or A Girl && We Went Out && Bought A Cot The Other Week.. Im A Right Fussy Sod At Times Bt I Love It && Cant Wait To Get Little Baby In There..

So For Davidds Information, The Baby Is About The Size Of A Raspberry This Week – Which Is About Half-An-Inch Frm Crown To Rump.. Anytime Now Though, The Baby Will Start A Period Of Rapid Growth && In Another Couple Of Weeks He Will Be A Passion Fruit.. He Must Be Swimmin Round In A Right Load Of Water Though Cos I Look A Right Fat Mare.. Davidd Has Always Teased Me About What He Calls Me Podge So Needless To Say He Is Now Goin Overdrive.. I Dont Care Though Cos I Am Really Made Up && I Know Deep Down Inside So Is He.. He Went Through Both My Miscarriages With Me && Was Always There To Help Me.. Right Now I Dont Know Who Is More Nervous About The Baby, Me Or Him.. Gary Is More Chilled Out.. His Mum Is Bein Great && Is Helpin Us Loads && We Have Even Been Out To His Dads Again Who Went Nuts Cos We Are Makin Him A Granddad.. He Reckons He Is Too Young Lyk..

Our Timin Probably Isnt Great Cos I Cant Have The Rona Vaccine In Case It Affects The Baby.. Although They Have Done Loads Of Testin On The Vaccine, They Dont Know How It Will Affect A Fetus.. I Have Had The Flu Jab Though Which I Hated.. I Dont Lyk Any Needles At The Best Of Times Bt When They Dig It In Ur Arm It Kills.. I Couldnt Sleep On That Side For Days && It Was All Bruised && Swollon.. I Cant Help It I Just Hate Needles && A Cannula Just About Finishes Me Off.. God Knows What Am Goin To Be Lyk Givin Birth..

It Is Hard To Discribe, I Am Kinda Scared Bt Excited All At The Same Time..

Am Gettin Engaged Over Christmas.. I Am Not Meant To Know That Bt Gary Cant Keep Anythin A Secret.. Poor Lad Cant Hold His Water.. It Would Of Been Great To Get Married Quickly Bt Even Though We Are In Tier 2, We Are Still Only Allowed Fifteen People At A Weddin && Reception.. Davidd Did Say That Ya Allowed Thirty For A Funeral, So If He Gets On Me Nerves I Could Always Wipe Gary Out && We Can Have A Funeral Instead..

Tempting Lyk..

Anyways, I Will Keep Yas All Informed When I Get Any Info..

Traa xx

Posted By

Andreaa Kurby

I Am Andreaa && I Am Havin A Boss Time Ere Writin On Me Blog && Tha.. I Feel Proper Ashamed, The F*ckin State Of Me Writing.. Davidd Told Me If Ya Hav A Blogg All Ya Have To Do Is Write Little Stories Abowt Ya Life Bt I Said No, I Cant Write Nothin.. I Neva Evn Passed Me GCSE English.. Bt He Bullies Me Yerno, So Me Stories Are Usually Shit..

72 Comments on “My Diary #12”

  1. Tell ye what I wasn’t even gona go out tomorrow but me da’s just got me 6 bottles of Prosecco and I need to celebrate your news! So when you see me still out on Sunday mind yo bizness x

  2. If my mother asks me one more time when I am getting married and having a baby, I’ll lash her in a home soo fast!!

  3. The scruffiest thing you’ll hear today: my sister and her fella went over to help someone decorate their new house, spent all day helping. They went to grab them both a meal deal and charged them £3 each when they got back. Hahahahahahaha I’d paint their walls black mate!!

  4. My dog has tried to hump everyone in the family except me and I don’t want to make this weird but I’m kind of offended!!

  5. Just went to make a cheese and crisp butty again and I only had 2 crusts of bread left. Why must I always suffer?

  6. I had to go into hospital outpatients today for a procedure which is fairly minor but VERY LONG. Every time I go into a hospital I feel like they are never going to let me out again. The person in the bay opposite me was playing tinny music from a phone without headphones, am I allowed to break social distancing rules to punch them?

    Then there was an adventure involving a pint of blood going missing from the hospital fridge, a lot of pleading re my poor dog home alone and eventually a promise to come back on Saturday to finish the damn treatment but I made it home and Kel hadn’t even peed on the floor!

  7. Christmas is so expensive. I don’t know how I’d manage if I had to buy presents for all my illegitimate children too.

  8. ANNOUNCEMENT: Our aerial display above The Brass Balance Pub in Birkenhead has been CANCELLED on police advice. Big crowds were expected and we were advised that legal action might be taken against us.

    Please do NOT travel and sorry, NO refunds.

  9. What age do you stop waking up with a hard on needing a burst? got to get in all mad positions just to hit the target don’t need this type of stress when ye half akip mate.

    Asking for a friend!

  10. Rolf report 18 Dec

    The humans have put all the Christmas decorations out & our house is aglow with colour & sparkle. Yesterday I sat at the top of the staircase with a ribbon-wrapped bannister. I am helping to create a little Christmas cheer.

    Rolf x

  11. Barbara didn’t realize that we had this scarecrow. He thought it was a real human who just didn’t move much. I explained that some humans enjoy making scarecrows just for fun and the birds aren’t scared. I think that’s weird, but if it keeps humans happy then it’s okay.

  12. King John was not a good man,
    And no good friends had he.
    He stayed in every afternoon…
    But no one came to tea.
    And, round about December,
    The cards upon his shelf
    Which wished him lots of Christmas cheer,
    Were only from himself.

  13. I don’t really think you should go anywhere where you’ve gotta have a jab. Do ya know what I mean? I think that’s kind of like a warning.

  14. I salute all the single mothers n fathers raising kids alone, dunno how yiz aren’t all bald from the stress!

  15. We’ve got some very fuckin’ heavy rain and fuckin’ strong winds moving in from the SW today.

  16. What’s the script with social media when you turn 30? will I only be able to use it to complain to shops about their customer service and argue with people in the Echo reply’s?

    1. Get to fuck. No fuckin way you’re not at least 37. I’ve met you. Get to fuck. Seriously hard paper round you lad.

  17. The end of term & the staff are having a tasty breakfast, they deserve it. A tough term, lots of little people & families to support, thankfully all “bubbles” remained open with no need for any closures. I’m celebrating with another pig in blankie!

  18. Online Christmas parties??!! What’s that all about??!!

    Hahahahahaha, you’d barely get me to go out with the cuuuuunts I’ve worked with over the years so some virtual shit is deffo not happening!

    Fuck offfffff! Hahahahaha

  19. Preparing for Scala Radio and once again the chance to make my great friend Simon Mayo’s life difficult as I twiddly bit my way through some listener’s requests… and all from home… it’s certainly a strange year!

  20. Will you sponsor me for this, will you sponsor me for that, I’ll sponsor the little bugger to not come here tapping me for bloody money!

  21. On me way to Bootle magistrates if any of the Bootle heads wanna defend Bootle honour because it’s a shit dump!

  22. The latest SAGE advice for Christmas is to mix it with onions and sausagemeat and shove it up a turkey’s arse.

  23. A couple of years ago my little brother had a stroke and he was stealing things, my Da nearly had a stroke and was screaming all over the gaf he’s a fucking necrophiliac. I was like Da that’s someone that shags dead bodies I think you mean kleptomaniac… rent free in my head!!

  24. Christmas starts here! So here’s the news of our special ‘A Christmas Carol’. It includes loads of your favourite farmers and Peter Davison as Scrooge, who on taking the part said: “Why not, it’s a chance to meet Jean Green!”

    Join us on Tuesday at 8pm on Channel 5!

  25. I hate all these new traditions that we are adopting from America, like trick or treating. Or that other thing where children knock on people’s doors on Christmas Day and shout “You’re my Daddy – where’s my present?” through the letterbox.

  26. It’s the work zoom Christmas party tonight. I’m still gonna blame the taxi when I don’t show up.

  27. :siren: SCAM ALERT :siren:

    Beware this Christmas of the Birkenhead Flock selling gift cards for aerial displays that will be routinely cancelled at the last minute without refunds. We understand Trading Standards are investigating – Birko Pigeon – you’d better watch your back!!

  28. A girl has gone right back through my Twitter & retweeted loads of my tweets slagging men off and I just hope she’s ok and that whoever he is has a shit Xmas.

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