I was working my way through my Twitter feed when I came across an American lady talking about cooking something in her Air Fryer. I had never heard of an Air Fryer so I immediately Googled it and discovered it is a fryer that uses very little oil and so produces quite healthy fried food. Granny attends Fat Club as a “target member”, so I thought she would be interested in this latest in a long list of gadgets that Granny likes to purchase. Please, nobody mention Dyson!
I told Granny about them and she told me that some of the girls in the Fat Club Facebook Group she is in had mentioned them. Next thing you know Granny has disappeared and is nowhere to be found. An hour later she returns home with a Tefal Air Fryer. I looked at the heavens and told her that I only mentioned them, I didn’t mean run out and buy one.
She opened the box and I got hold of the instruction book. I started reading through it and there is a long paragraph about making sure that parboiled potatoes are dried off thoroughly otherwise they will make soggy chips. I told Granny that I thought this sounded a big faff and that she would spend half the time drying potatoes off – maybe it wasn’t the marvellous item we originally thought.
I left Granny to read the instructions for herself, when a short time later I heard the front door close. She had agreed with me that it was a total nuisance having to dry the potatoes off and so she was returning the Air Fryer for a refund.
The next day Granny had been out and walked into the house with another Air Fryer she had purchased from Argos (again!). When I questioned her, she told me that a few of the girls from Fat Club had recommended this model and that they didn’t dry the potatoes at all and the Air Fryer didn’t make soggy chips.
I looked at the box – It was the same make (Tefal) and model she had purchased the day before. Granny told me that I was talking rubbish and that I didn’t know what I was talking about. I opened the box, withdrew the instruction book and pointed out the exact paragraph we had read about the soggy chips the day before.
Granny grabbed the instruction book from me, put it back in the box and returned the item for another refund. I think Granny is now banned from Argos!
As you have probably noticed, Granny likes to do things secretly. She never likes to tell anyone what she is doing, so they can help or advise her; she just likes to dive in head first. The other day I knew she was up to something but she wasn’t letting on and told me to mind my own business. Twenty minutes later the phone goes and Granny has got her telly on that loud that she can’t hear it. So, I answered the phone. A man on the phone asks to speak to Granny and I ask if I can tell her who is calling.
“Yes,” replies the man, “I am Duncan from Sunlife Insurance, Granny has been in touch asking for details about a Funeral Plan.”
“One moment, I shall just get her for you,” I replied.
I went into the other room and told Granny it was Sunlife Insurance on the phone for her about her new Funeral Plan. The cat was out of the bag and she was fuming; you should have seen the look on her face.
Granny also has her routines. For example, her bedtime routine involves preparing a flask of hot water to take to bed for her to sip during the night. Going to the bathroom for her ablutions and removing her teeth, placing them in soak in a plastic container and going to bed. Once in bed she removes her hearing aids and places them by the side of the bed.
The other night she got into bed and thought that something was wrong but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. After some thought she noticed that she still had her teeth in. She had obviously forgotten to put them in soak.
Granny got up and went into the bathroom to sort her teeth out. She picked up her plastic container to prepare some Steradent Tablets for her teeth and there, in the plastic container were… her hearing aids!
Say goodnight Gracie Granny.