Pigeon Pete

Posted by Andreaa Kurby on
Category: Nutters64 Comments

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Ages Ago, On The Old Jammy Toast, I Told Yas A Story About Pigeon Pete.. He Was An Old Guy Who Used To Sit At The Pier Head Feedin Pigeons Until The Council Stopped Him Cos They Said He Was Creatin A Nuisance.. No One Has Ever Caused More Nuisance To The People Of Liverpool Than Liverpool Councillors So They Can Get To F*ck!! Thousands Of Birds Usta Come && See Pete At The Pier Head Cos They Knew They Was Goin To Get A Good Scran.. This Was Years Ago Bt I Just Found Out That He Is Still Goin && He Still Feeds The Birds Bt Not At The Pier Head Any More.. He Is Probably Too Scared Of Gettin An ASBO Off The Council.. So Here Is A Picture Of Him, I Think It Is In Bootle New Strand Shoppin Centre, Bt He Goes Round Everywhere These Days So That People Cant Stop Him. By The Time They Complain, He Is Long Gone To Somewhere Else..

He Used To Feed The Pigeons Years Ago With Bread Until The Council Threatened Him With Bein Arrested If He Didnt Stop.. He Didnt Stop, He Carried On Feedin The Pigeons So They Served Him With Some Court Papers That Said He Was No Longer Allowed To Feed Bread To The Pigeons.. So Pete Thought Fuck Them, && He Come Up With A Cunnin Plan.. He Was Banned Frm Feedin Pigeons Bread Bt At The Pier Head There Used To Be A Cafe Where Ya Could Go For Ya Scran.. When I Told Davidd About It He Already Knew && Told Me That Ya Could Go In && Eat Or They Served Take-Away Food Through A Hatch In The Old Pier Head Building Wall.. Davidd Said That The Hatch Usta Do Great Bacon Butties Too.. Trust Him To Know Where To Find The Best Scran!!

Me Dad Said That The Place Was Disgusting, Lyk A Real Greasy Spoon Cafe, Bt That Ya Couldnt Complain With Chips For 30p.. So Pete Usta Buy Chips For His Pigeons Cos The Court Only Said He Wasnt Allowed To Feed Them Bread.. Bt Even The Birds Didnt Really Lyk The Chips, So Pete Started Buyin Them Hotdogs && Burgers Frm The Men In White Coats Who Usta Push Trolleys Round Sellin Food.. I Dont Know Why They Had White Coats On Bt Davidd Said He Remembers Them && It Was So That Everyone Could See That They Were Always Clean.. The Only Problem Was That The Coats Was Always Dirty, Rotten.

Everythin Has Changed These Days Though && They Dont Allow Pigeons Or Seagulls At The Pier Head.. Me Dad Reckons That Scum Derek Hatton Had Em All Banned && Threatened Pete With A Fine If He Kept Feedin The Birds Any Kind Of Food.. Apparently Ya Can Get Diseases && That Frm Bird Poop, So I Get That Bt Why Do They Hve To Stop Old Men Frm Just Chillin??

There Used To Be A Scotsman Who All Year Round Sat On The Benches In Williamson Square.. He Wasnt Doin Anyone Any Harm && In The Winter When It Got Cold He Used To Go && Sleep Near The Heatin Duct For The St Johns Shoppin Precinct.. Again He Wasnt Doin Anyone Any Harm Sleepin There && It Kept Him Warm.. Bt No, The Council Blocked Up Where He Used To Sleep So That He Couldnt Keep Warm.. So He Decided To Get His Own Back.. In The Winter When It Got Too Cold To Sleep Out He Used To Pick Up An Old Beer Barrel Frm The Pub At The Bottom Of The Square && Throw It Through The Job Centre Window.. He Would Then Sit There && Wait For The Police To Come && Arrest Him Just So That He Could Get Locked Up In A Nice Warm Cell && Get Three Hot Meals A Day.. Alan Bleasdale, The Fella Who Writes All Them Plays, Heard About Him && He Put His Story On The Telly In ‘Boys From The Black Stuff’ So He Was Lyk Famous For A Bit.

Pigeon Pete && The Williamson Square Smasher Were Called Nutters Years Ago.. It Wasnt Meant To Be Nasty, Most People Actually Lykd Them.. The Sad Thing Is Its Against The Law These Days To Be A Nutter.. There Used To Be Hundreds Of Nutters Around Liverpool.. Most Of Them Was Dead Sound Lyk Billy Beephorn, Jacko, Jaffa The Kaffa.. Bt People Lyk Them Dont Exist No More.. They Was All Just Homeless People Who Never Hurt No One Bt These Days Ya Just Get Abuse Off Druggies && Big Issue Sellers.. Its Up To Everyone If They Want To Buy A Maggo Off Them Or Not, Ya Shouldnt Hve To Get Shit Off Them Just Cos Ya Say No.

I Did Write About The Old Nutters On Me Own Blog Bt Now Am Back On Jammy Toast Davidd Has Knocked It Down.. He Got The Demolition Crews In At The Weekend.. If Ya Want Me To Write Yas About The Old Liverpool Nutters Just Leave Us A Comment && Let Me Know && I Will Do A Post About Them For Yas.

I Wish I Lived Bak In The Old Days When People Just Left Ya Alone To Do What Ya Wanted To Do Instead Of Bullyin Ya Not To Do Things.. I Bet It Was Dead Sound In Them Days.

Traa xx

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Posted By

Andreaa Kurby

I Am Andreaa && I Am Havin A Boss Time Ere Writin On The Blog && Tha.. I Feel Proper Ashamed, The F*ckin State Of It.. Davidd Told Me If Ya Hav A Blog All Ya Have To Do Is Write Little Stories Abowt Ya Life Bt I Said No, I Cant Write Nothin.. I Neva Evn Passed Me GCSE English.. Bt He Bullies Me Yerno, So Me Stories Are Usually Shit..


64 Comments on “Pigeon Pete”

    1. She did a few years back. She used to throw bread out for the birds and one of the neighbours complained to the council that it was like a scene from an Alfred Hitchcock film at the back of our house.

      Needless to say, she denies all knowledge of it these days!

    1. Degsy is now a motivational speaker and chairman of the new media company Rippleffect. His son Ben is its managing director. I think Degsy is also a property developer in Cyprus or at least he was for a while.

  1. mad the amount of people from the rest of the uk who follow the echo just so they can see stories about pete and have the first chance to criticise us. its like me following the essex chronicle and jumping down their necks every time they report something i dont like.

    mind ya fucking bizniss you bunch of wools.

  2. Panorama confirming what we already knew. The banking fraternity are shady bastards! These are the very people the Prime Minister has backed to the hilt. No more to be said!

  3. Rolf report 22 Sept

    I love to patrol the campus. It’s a serious business & there is much to do: bushes & trees to inspect, buildings to attempt to enter, little creatures to stalk, students & staff to keep safe. It’s a mission that I never seem to lose my enthusiasm for.

    Rolf x

  4. Kate brought the little human Veronica to see me again. I’ve heard that some little humans are not very kind to cats but the ones who come to see me are always very gentle. I was very happy with Veronica!

  5. “That’s my table-cloth,” said Pooh.
    “I wondered what it was,” said Tigger.
    “It goes on the table and you put things on it.”
    “Why did it try to bite me when I wasn’t looking?”
    “I don’t THINK it did,” said Pooh.
    “It tried, but I was too quick for it.”

  6. I’m going to clean up today and you’re all going to hear about it. My house is going to smell like a Spanish hotel and I may even show you some soft porn (hoover marks in the carpet).

  7. Things you don’t see anymore, what do you remember?

    Tar bubbles in the road, Texan bars, streets full of kids, wasteground, white dog shit, goals drawn on walls, kids catching pigeons, dens, MKII Grifters, dogs stuck together after a shag, plastic rain hoods on old women.

  8. Omg Soosan has me on her family sharing and I’ve ordered £81 worth of apps on her card by mistake. I’m 31 years of age and she’s having to get refunds off Apple because of me!

  9. Ok so go the pub with 5 of your friends, eat out, pick your kids up from school after theyve sat with a class of 30 and stand in the same street as all the other mums, go horseback riding & fox hunting with 30 of your mates, BUT YOU DARE HAVE A COFFEE WITH YOUR MA!!!

  10. i can mix with strangers in the asda, pubs, restaurants but I can’t go round to my ma and da’s for tea? ok then. makes sense ye bunch of boffs. then i suppose my ma and da dont make you much money do they? i will have to get them to open a pub, but only until 10pm each day, as the virus clocks off its shift then. or maybe we could all take up that lovely family sport: grouse shooting!?

  11. Boris Johnson just threatened the country with the military if we don’t start following the rules. The person who told us all to start eating at restaurants with 50% off, get back in the gym get back to work and opened schools.

    Is this cunt on smack?

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