Princess Andreaa

Posted by Andreaa Kurby on
Category: Childhood67 Comments

When I Was Writin About The New Egyptian Museum Thingy On Saturday, I Was Thinking That I Wouldnt Mind Being A Pharaoh.. I Remember Seeing The ‘Carry On Cleo’ Film Where Cleopatra Has A Bath In Milk && I Thought I Would Quite Like That.. These Days Though They Dont Have Pharaohs, So I Would Have To Be A Princess Or Something && They Are Just Borin.. Meghan Is Pure Crap && I Reckon Harry Will Divorce Her Before Long && Catherine Is Too Goodie-Too-Shoes.. The Only Cool Princesses I Have Known Are The Disney Ones && Princess Diana.. Bt Diana Died When I Was Only Three, So I Only Really Know Disney Princesses.. They All Had Great Lives Or If They Didnt Then They Did Once They Met Their Prince.. Even Ugly Princess Fiona Was Pretty Happy Once She Married Shrek && Lived Happily Ever After With Him && Donkey.. I Love Donkey, He Was Pretty Cool..

As I Was Growin Up I Saw Pictures Of Princess Diana && Thought How Pretty She Was && Thought How Much I Would Have Loved To Be Her – Apart Frm The Car Crash Lyk.. Then I Read A Book About Her Life && Realised That She Was Not The Happy Princess Ya Might Of Thought She Was, Even Before She Broke Up With Charlie..

Her Mum Was Francis Spencer Who Sounds A Right Cow!! She Was Married To Johnnie Spencer, The Eighth Earl Spencer Bt She Met Some Wallpaper Heir, Peter Shand-Kydd, && Left Her Husband To Be With Him.. Diana Was Devastated That Her Mum Was Leavin Her At The Age Of Just Five && She Wasnt Takin Diana With Her.. Diana Was Stayin With Her Dad.. While She Packed Her Things, Her Mum Told Her That She Would Come Back && Visit Her Bt She Never Did.. Most People Who Know Her Say That Francis Was Not Cut Out For Being A Mum.. Her Father Was A Quiet Man && Loved Diana Bt She Wanted Her Mum.. It Wasnt Her Fault That She Didnt Hve Any Maternal Feelings Towards Her Daughter, She Was Just In Love With Another Man && Put Him First.. Diana Used To Sit At The Front Door Of The Spencer Estate In Althorpe && Wait For Her Mother To Come && Visit Her, Bt She Never Did..

To Make Things Worse, Her Two Older Sisters Were Away At Boarding School.. It Is No Wonder Tha So Many Posh Kids Are F*cked Up When They Grow Up.. Look At Boris Johnson For F*ck Sake!!

Her Brother Charles Was In The Same Boat.. He Loved His Mother && Missed Her Terribly.. He Was Younger Than Diana && Used To Cry Himself To Sleep In His Bedroom At Night Missin His Mother.. Diana Was Too Scared Of The Dark To Go To Him Durin The Night Bt Used To Watch Out For Her Little Brother Durin The Day.. However, She Still Craved Female Company But The Only Regular People In Her Life Were Her Father && Her Brother..

Her Father Later Re-Married Raine McCorquodale, The Daughter Of Novelist Dame Barbara Cartland.. Diana Hated Her && Used To Call Her Acid-Raine.. Her Brother Is Still In Therapy Today Dealin With The After-Effects Of His Unhappy Childhood.. Diana Was Affected Just As Badly By Their Upbringing Bt Saw An Escape When She Met Prince Charles && Weddin Bells Started To Peal..

Except We All Know How That Ended..

At Her Funeral In 1997, Her Brother Paid Tribute To His Sisters Efforts To Be A Mother Figure To Him Describing Her In His Eulogy As, “The Big Sister Who Mothered Me As A Baby..” She Was 36 When She Died In That Paris Car Crash..

Bein A Princess Sounds Dead Sound, But Perhaps I Was Better Off Bein The Scouse Kid Frm A Council Estate In Liverpool After all..

Traa xx

Garfield Strip

Garfield is copyright © Paws, Inc. If you like the cartoons we reproduce here on Jammy Toast, please consider purchasing some of the Garfield official merchandise. These are available through where you can view them in full-colour and at a higher quality!

Posted By

Andreaa Kurby

I Am Andreaa && I Am Havin A Boss Time Ere Writin On The Blog && Tha.. I Feel Proper Ashamed, The F*ckin State Of It.. Davidd Told Me If Ya Hav A Blog All Ya Have To Do Is Write Little Stories Abowt Ya Life Bt I Said No, I Cant Write Nothin.. I Neva Evn Passed Me GCSE English.. Bt He Bullies Me Yerno, So Me Stories Are Usually Shit..

67 Comments on “Princess Andreaa”

  1. I remember Charlie Althorpe’s memorial to his sister at her funeral. It was very moving but left a terrible impression of certain members of his family and the Royal family.

  2. I’m quite happy you’re the “Scouse Kid Frm A Council Estate In Liverpool,” it means we get to read your posts and anyway, you can be our Princess Andreaa!

  3. The government hate us so much I’m certain they’re using the city wide testing to spread a deadly virus that will turn us all into brain eating zombies signifying the end of the world.

  4. theres doctors in my mentions explaining why this lockdown is necessary & why the liverpool testing is a good thing for our city and backing it up with actual scientific facts. no offence but i will be taking notice of them over carol from norris green who has suddenly become an epidemiologist in the last few months.

  5. Harrogate Town 0 – 1 Tranmere Rovers
    EFL Division Two
  6. Our special US Election aerial display will take place at 08:30 above noted American restaurant: Frankie & Benny’s on The Croft Retail Park. We hope to see you all there.


  7. Would be nice to just come home and have someone to tell about my day. Like how I’m sure a guest had a big bag of weed… if the smell was anything to go by anyway. When it’s 00.40 and everyone you know is asleep and you just want to chat on the actual phone…

    If I actually had a bloke I’d wake him up right now just to chat.

    I just like talking :hug:

  8. Good morning everybody, welcome to Wednesday brought to you by your favourite affectionate apricot aficionado of all things treat related – wishing you all a furrilly fantastic day!

  9. I love it when Pippa comes to see me. My human said itlooked as though I was sticking my tongue out at her, but I wasn’t, honestly. We were just having a chat. She threatened to take an embarrassing photo, I should be used to them by now.



    I’m already getting extremely sick!

  11. Dear Americans, UR ALL HELMETS!

    Just to back that up 48% of you think trump has dealt with the pandemic well??????



  12. They should drag Trump out of the White House now, before he has time to block all the toilets and slip kippers down the back of all the radiators.

    This has been predicted all along, but to see him actually do it is sickening. He’s calling victory long before all the votes are counted. This is where it starts getting really dirty.

  13. “If anybody wants to clap,” said Eeyore when he had read his poem, “now is the time to do it.”
    They all clapped. “Thank you,” he said. “Unexpected and gratifying, if a little lacking in smack.”
    “It’s better than mine,” said Pooh.
    “It was meant to be.”

  14. Rolf report 4 Nov

    There are advantages to being a black cat in a house where the humans have black bed linen: I can snuggle under the duvet in peace & no one can find me. There are also disadvantages: sometimes the humans don’t realise I’m there & sit on me by mistake.

    Rolf x

  15. It looks like all shows scuppered until next year. Hugely disappointing but as Blackadder would say, “I have a cunning plan.” Admittedly it’s in the early stages but it is cunning, I can assure you!

  16. I don’t want my kids inheriting a world run by flag waving facebook tin pot dictators, utterly bereft of moral authority, while they watch 200 mile winds pick up and blow their lives away like the Wizard of Oz, having internalized this force fed sense of powerlessness. just sayin.

  17. So apparently Donald Trump has declared himself the election winner?

    On this basis I’m now declaring my the National Lottery winner for this Saturday’s draw and expect Ferrari to drop my new car round fairly soon afterwards.

    Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *