The one thing that confuses me about sport though, is some of the technical terms. At Wimbledon for example, why does the man sitting in his high-chair keep calling people love? Not to mention Set, Deuce, Seed, Let and I even heard someone mention something about a Bagel. Then there is the scoring, can’t people at Wimbledon count? In football, if you score a goal then your team’s score goes up by one. I understand that, it is perfectly logical. But in tennis if you score a point then it goes straight to 15. Score again, and it goes up to 30. That’s fine, we’re getting the hang of it now, it’s all about multiples of 15, so your next point should take you up to 45… Hang on? Where did 40 come from?
Now some of you who like tennis might be thinking that’s just the way it is, you have to get used to it. I bet you are laughing at me over Bagel though, thinking I have got something wrong, but no. I heard some of the commentators referring to a set as a bagel. Apparently, if you are rubbish and don’t win a game in a set then it is called a bagel because you have scored a zero – and that’s exactly what a bagel looks like. So a set where a player fails to win a game is called a bagel. Even Granny Evonne Goolagong didn’t know that one!
I am sure they make things up in tennis too. I heard the commentator talking about “racquet rage” the other day when a player was shouting a lot. I am not sure how many points you get for being the loudest though, it just confused me. Personally, I will be happy when the football comes back next month. They know how to count properly in football – just hope I don’t have to explain the offside rule to Granny again!
Finally, I have to confess to even more confusion in my column this month. Some women over in France have been protesting against something by holding banners and walking around topless. They held one of their demonstrations outside L’Arc de Triomphe and I would just like to state for the record, I have no idea what they are protesting about, but I agree!