Posted by Andreaa Kurby on
Category: Sport62 Comments

Davidd Was Tellin Me How Good Me Little Skit About Cricket Was A While Ago When I Was Tellin Yas All How To Play Cricket && The Rules && That.. So He Is Watchin The Snooker This Week So He Said Why Dont Ya Tell Everyone About The Rules Of Snooker.. I Said I Dont Know How Ya Play Snooker Its For Old Granddads, How Am I Meant To Know How Ya Play It.. Davidd Said Watch Some Of It && See If Ya Can Work It Out, Like Ya Did With The Cricket Cos It Was Dead Funny.. Okay I Will Try Then, Here Goes..

So Ya Play Snooker On This Green Table Where Ya Have To Put All Ya Balls.. There Are Loads Of Red Ones && Then Ya Have A Black One && A Pink, Blue, Green, Brown && Yellow One && They Are All Worth Different Points.. Ya Only Allowed To Hit The White One With Ya Stick Though.. The Man In Charge, Lets Call Him The Referee, Puts All The Balls In The Right Place && Then Gives The First Player The White Ball.. So All The Balls Are Dead Tidy On The Green Table Bt The First Player Then Whacks The White Ball At The Red Ones && They Go All Over The Gaff.. Its Then The Other Players Go..

The Other Player Comes To The Green Table && Whacks The White Ball Again && He Has To Hit A Red Ball With The White Ball && See If He Can Get One Of The Red Balls In One Of The Pockets.. There Are Six Pockets On The Table In Each Corner && In The Middle Too.. If The Second Player Gets A Red Ball In A Pocket Then He Gets Another Go && He Has To Then Pot A Colour Ball, Except Not A Red One Cos He Has Already Done A Red One.. Bt If He Doesnt Get A Red Ball In A Pocket Then It Is The First Players Go Again.. They Keep Takin Turns Until One Of Them Gets A Red Ball In A Pocket..

Whoever Gets A Red Ball In The Pocket First Gets A Point && The Referee Shouts Out “One”..

Whoever Gets The Ball In The Pocket Then Has To Try && Get A Colour Ball In The Pocket.. The Best Thing Is To Get A Black One Cos That Is Worth Seven Points.. They Carry On Like That Goin Red, Colour, Red, Colour, Red, Colour…

The Player Carries On For Ages Until He Misses A Ball && Then The Other Player Has A Go Of Goin Red, Colour, Red, Colour && All That.. When Ya Go Red, Colour, Red, Colour, Red, Colour Ya Call That A Breeak. On A Break, Ya Get Points For All The Balls Ya Get In The Pocket Until All The Balls Are Gone.. When All The Balls Are Gone They Add Up All The Points That The Players Have Got For Gettin Balls In The Pockets && The One With The Most Points Wins That Game.. The Only Thing Is, That Is Not The End..

They Then Get All The Balls Out Of The Pockets Again && Start All Over..

The Player Who Wins Is The One Who Gets The Right Amount Of Frames First.. Sometimes It Is 5, 9, 11, 19, 15 Or 25.. It Does Take Ages To Win All Them Frames Bt Not As Long As The Cricket.. Funny Thing Is That Because Of The Rona They Dont Let Any Audience In To Watch Bt They Have A Machine That Claps When Ya Do A Good Shot Bt It Is Crap.. It Sounds Dead Phoney Not Like Sky Do It On The Footy..

Its Not On Sky Though, Its On This Channel Called Eurosport With A Man Called Jimmy White Doin All The Talkin While The Players Are Playin.. This Jimmy White Was In Six World Champion Finals && Never Won One.. Fuck Me, Wouldnt Ya Think He Would Of Give Up && Gone Home?? && Its Dead Biased Too.. All The People Want Jimmy Sullivan To Win Cos He Plays Dead Fast && Is Exciting, So They Say..

If He Is Meant To Be Excitin Then I Think I Would Rather Lie In Bed && Watch The Paint On Me Bedroom Ceilin Dry..

Traa xx

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Posted By

Andreaa Kurby

I Am Andreaa && I Am Havin A Boss Time Ere Writin On The Blog && Tha.. I Feel Proper Ashamed, The F*ckin State Of It.. Davidd Told Me If Ya Hav A Blog All Ya Have To Do Is Write Little Stories Abowt Ya Life Bt I Said No, I Cant Write Nothin.. I Neva Evn Passed Me GCSE English.. Bt He Bullies Me Yerno, So Me Stories Are Usually Shit..

62 Comments on “Snooker”

  1. Don’t forget the most important rule of all, if you win the World Championship you have to start crying and then pick your child up and be photographed with said offspring.

  2. Newborn babies get me so broody I’m just like their little baby grows and them little noises they make I swear I’d have had 10 kids if I wasn’t poor. The neighbours would call me Irene 10 kids and so would half yous on here and I’d be totally fine with it!!

  3. These kids have got me round the bend it’s beyond a joke. I’ll never disrespect women again if they are single mums. There’s not enough money in the world for the mental torture this is!

  4. some man used to ring my mum up and do heavy breathing and ask her what colour knickers she had on. one day my nan grabbed the phone and goes OH SHURRUP YE DAFT BUGGER IF YOU RING AGAIN ILL CUT YE LITTLE WILLY OFF AND STAPLE IT TO THE LIVER BUILDINGS.

    he never rang again!

  5. Despite knowing that millions of people voted for Brexit and the Tories, it’s still shocking to realise how many delusional thick fuckwits live in this country.

  6. Red Fred and ET use a home-made cat-flap on their shed. My human bought them a ‘real’ one but it is difficult to fit it. They don’t have a problem going through this hole in the door and at least it keeps the foxes out of the shed. My human puts food for the foxes outside.

  7. Rolf report 29 Nov

    The 1st rule of leash walking with a cat is “the human has to go where the cat wants to go”. When I’m out with my American human, I often try to go into other people’s gardens but he won’t let me. So when we get back to our own garden I take revenge.

    Rolf x

  8. Little sister is only 13 there an pushin to set up her own little lip balm business fuckinell when i was 13 i jumped the school gates cos i didnt wanna go to mass!

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