I Used To Get Spoilt At Christmas

Posted by Andreaa Kurby
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Category: Family68 Comments

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Used To Love Christmas When I Was Little.. I Was Spoilt Rotten Cos I Had Three Christmasses Every Year.. On Christmas Eve I Would Go && Stay With My Grandparents && Have A Christmas There.. Then I Would Come Home For Christmas Day && Have A Christmas At Home.. Then On Boxin Day I Would Go Me Other Grandparents && Have Another Christmas There.. Cos I Am The Baby Of The Family It Was Just Me Too At Me Grandparents So I Always Got More Pressies Than All The Others.. Before He Died Me Granddad Used To Live With Us.. He Was Frm Me Mums Side Of The Family, The Other Granddad Is Still Alive, Just In Case Ya Gettin Mixed Up.. I Really Used To Love Me Granddad && Even Though I Was A Terrible Teen At The Time I Would Love It If He Come In Me Room.. Ya See Some Kids Shoutin, “Get Out Me Room!!” At Parents Or Grandparents, Bt I Would Never Shout At Me Granddad.. I Think I Hve Told Yas Some Stories About Him Bein A Hero Durin The War && Even When He Was An Old Man He Never Took Shit Off No One..

Granny At Christmas

Posted by Davidd Birko
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Category: Grannyisms63 Comments

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ince we relaunched Jammy Toast a few months back, we have neglected our grannyisms. I think there are probably two reasons for this; one, Granny is getting pretty good at hiding her grannyisms from us and two, I keep forgetting to make a note of the ones I observe. I think our New Year’s Resolution must be to keep an eye open for more grannyisms. So as a special Christmas surprise to all the Granny fans out there, I thought we could feature a favourite festive grannyism from a couple of years ago. This particular year, I had not seen much of Granny during the run-up to Christmas because she had flu and was staying out of everyone’s way so as not to pass it on.

Doing My Dirty Washing In Public #21

Posted by Lisa Whiteman
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Category: Lisa's Dirty Washing62 Comments

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i my name is… my name is… excuse me, my name is Slim Shady Lisa. You might remember me from the original Jammy Toast and recall my posts. If you don’t then you can catch up on them over here. I have been a friend of Davey’s since about 2003. I used to have a blog on Blogger well before he started to blog and before he discovered his pesky teddy bears. He used to leave comments on my blog and before you knew it, we were chatting away on MSN – who remembers good old MSN? I invited him to write a few guest posts on my blog and we became great friends. I even travelled over to the UK in 2007 from Canada for a visit and we had a whale of a time together. Fast forward sixteen years and I now comment on his blog and he has invited me to write some guest posts for him. As the old saying goes; what goes around, comes around

The Life Of Paul #6

Posted by Paul Smith
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Category: Paul's Life63 Comments

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’m in a bit of a pickle at the moment. My girlfriend hasn’t spoken to me for twenty-six days. I’ve lasted three or four days before and then I start to flap. I start apologising, I’m a bit of a pussy, do you know what I mean? I’m so sorry, babe. But I have never gone twenty-six days before. For five days she was fucking off to bed at eight o’clock fuming and I was thinking this is fucking sound this. I wasn’t arsed. You must keep acting like you are arsed but you’re not. I was thinking this is great, I’ll just play on my PlayStation and have a wank. I’m better than she is at it anyway. No girl I have ever met is better at giving me a wank than I am at doing it myself.

The Andreaa Angel Show #91

Posted by Andreaa Kurby
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Category: The Andreaa Kurby Show42 Comments

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ight am behind on telling ya stuff cos the last story about the court was from before christmas .. So today am gonna see if i can catch up && get yaz all up to date .. I told yas I was off work over christmas signed off on the sick cos of me back .. So I had a right laugh until I woke up about 3am on christmas morning && i couldn’t get me breath && started havin’ a full blown panic attack .. Me mum && our Vicki tried to calm me down for half an hour but they couldn’t && so they rang for an ambulance .. So early hours of christmas day our house was full of two paramedics && two ambulance people .. They tried to give me some of me ventolin but cos i couldn’t get me breath it wasn’t goin’ down .. They got one of them big bottle things that you fire the ventolin inhaler into it && then you breath out of the the bottle && your meant to get 33% more ventolin into ya lungs .. I think its called a spacer ..

Lestly In The Christmas Hizzouse #26

Posted by Lester B.
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Category: Lester's Column54 Comments

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i folks, hope you all had a great Christmas and an amazing New Year, maybe some of you even had a Happy Hanukkah. For those of you who do not know, I am Jewish and was brought up in a pretty average Jewish family. Most Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas but we don’t have anything against those who do – except for one thing. You close all the shops so there is nothing for us to do. In New York pretty much the only things that are open on Christmas day are Chinese restaurants and movie theatres. Growing up I ate a lot of Chinese food and watched the odd movie over Christmas. Personally I would not have a Christmas tree up at home (I am lazy, not for religious reasons) but I do because Natalie, my roommate, insists on it – she is not Jewish.

The Bearkeeper’s Christmas Speech

Posted by Davidd Birko
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Category: Doodles49 Comments

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ormally on Christmas day at around 3pm we all gather round the telly and watch the Queen’s speech. She usually makes sense about what has happened during the previous twelve months or what is going to happen during the year ahead. This year however, there is a large elephant in the room as far as the Royal Family are concerned. Perhaps this year we should spare the Queen’s blushes and not rely on her in light of the events surrounding Prince Andrew’s year. Unfortunately, we haven’t got our own Queen anymore as she thinks all things Jammy Toast are embarrassing – grown-ups and teddy bears, etc. – so asking her to do a Queen’s speech like in days of old is out of the question. I often ask Chimpton to help Eddie write things for us but it never happens, so that is her and Eddie out of the question. It only leaves me to perhaps come up with a Christmas Day speech to the Toasters. So here goes…