Razzi Sees Jesus In Notre Dame Flames

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Religion54 Comments

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Razzi doesn’t really follow the news, it is just too depressing he maintains. You will never catch him with his head in a newspaper unless it is to look at the cartoons. Andy Capp is a particular favourite. So last night, Edward mentions the Notre Dame fire and Razzi looks on bemused. When Edward explained that part of the 850 year old cathedral had burnt down Razzi was shocked and said he hoped that Quasimodo was safe. He even went so far as to blame the humpbacked bell ringer saying that he probably left the chip pan on. Razzi often gets a little mixed up between fiction and real life.

Lestly In The Hizzouse #13

Posted by Lester B. on
Category: Lester's Column34 Comments

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Lestly and Chimpton in a scene from their film, Wreck It Ralph!

Ireally meant to do this in time for Christmas but I never got round to it, but let me tell you I am totally confused. Even more confused than I am about this guy in the red suit who calls round every year, dropping shit off and eating my cookies just so Natalie can annoy me the next morning with presents she has received. He’s probably an ex who she gave a blowjob to at some point. So anyway, it all started off about two thousand years ago in this place called Nazareth where there is this chick called Mary who an angel shows up to. The angel is like, “Dude, you’re knocked up!” So she is like, “No Fucking Way! I am a virgin.” So the angel is like, “Yea, sure you are!”

What Did Jesus Really Look Like?

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Religion27 Comments

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Yesterday was Jesus’ Birthday. We all know what Jesus looked like, don’t we? He was the dude with the long hair and a beard who is probably the most painted person ever to have lived – if you believe that he did actually live. He always wore a long robe with long sleeves (mostly white) and a mantle (often blue). Jesus is so familiar to us that people often see his likeness in pieces of toast or pancakes. It is now known that this familiar image of Jesus actually comes from the Byzantine era, from the 4th Century onwards, and Byzantine representations of Jesus were symbolic – they were all about meaning, not historical accuracy. So did he really look like this? The answer is probably not!

What Became Of The 12 Apostles?

Posted by Einstein Bear on
Category: Religion10 Comments

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After the last supper Jesus was betrayed by Judas for 30 pieces of silver, Peter denied knowing Him three times, and Thomas doubted Jesus had risen from the dead after the crucifixion. The Easter story tells us what happened to Jesus but what happened to his so called friends? What happened to his disciples, who became the 12 Apostles? Very little is known about their lives after the crucifixion but now writer Tom Bissell, who has spent four years travelling the world, has unearthed the stories, myths and legend about their later lives. He found a melting pot of historical fact and religious fiction making for very colourful tales…

No Judgement Day

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: From Old Jammy Toast, Religion38 Comments

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We were all baffled last night as to how the world did not end at 6 o’clock. The followers of the evangelical broadcaster who declared that yesterday would be judgement day are fighting to make sense of his failed prediction. Some of them said it was a test from God of their faith, after the day passed without the event taking place. Meanwhile, the man who made the prediction, Harold Camping, has not been seen since just before his predictions deadline last night.