Everyone at Jammy Toast – except for Razzi – was heartbroken to hear of the death of actor Rutger Hauer the other day. The actor died in the Netherlands on Friday after a short illness. Hauer most famously played the murderous replicant Roy Batty in Blade Runner, alongside Harrison Ford, but at Jammy Toast we will always remember him for the role of serial killer John Ryder in The Hitcher. In the film a young man escapes the clutches of a murderous hitch-hiker only to subsequently be stalked by the hitcher and framed for his crimes. Whenever he is in a car since, Razzi always checks the mirror to make sure Rutger isn’t following us.
When I first heard that Richard Attenborough had died I was quiet happy about it. Not because I feel any animosity towards him but because he is capable of scarring me out of my fur. When I first saw him in 10 Rillington Place, I had no idea it was based on a true story. Instead, I just thought it was a monster he had dreamed up. Then I read about the real life killer John Christie – who Attenborough plays in the film – and I realised just how close to him he had got. Then when I saw the photos of the real serial killer and compared them to Attenborough’s version my blood ran cold.
Davidd and I often stop off in Newsham Park in Liverpool to eat our lunch whenever we are in the area. It is a little piece of tranquillity in the middle of the hustle and bustle of Liverpool. There is lots of grass, children’s play area and a large lake where people often fish and swans and ducks busy themselves swimming to and fro. Where we sit next to the lake is even below the level of the lake and often it appears that the lake is going to overflow its banks onto the roadway such is the level of the water. It really is a lovely park hidden away behind old battered buildings and a meat market.
Hello again, everyone. The world really is going mad at the moment. Down south the Government cut funding for the Environment Agency and think they can get away with it. Six months later swans are swimming down the main road through Worcester. In another case of madness, Copenhagen Zoo has killed a perfectly healthy giraffe simply because they did not have another giraffe who their animal could breed with and avoid inbreeding. Before you say that’s disgusting and we would never allow that in this country; I have heard today that Longleat Safari Park has just killed five lions because they had serious genetic defects caused by inbreeding. The world is going mad.
Hello again, everyone. It is me Razzi here and before you all start moaning I would just like to say that I know I have already had my column this month but I have some important things to tell you all. Davidd dropped a bombshell on me on Sunday that Cher has gone and married her boyfriend which left me a little shell-shocked because she told me she was waiting for me. At first I thought it was just a rumour but then I found she had published a wedding picture on her Instagram of their wedding day. Of course, she had to publish it in black and white because she is already ashamed of the fact that he is a ginger!
Today has seen Razzi and I make a return journey to the Land of The Early to Bed – Yorkshire – to pick up our new car. Our friends of longer standing may remember that we make our pilgrimage to Yorkshire around November each year to pick up a new car. The first time we went, in 2011, we discovered the whole county had gone to bed. It appears that in Yorkshire there is nothing to do after 8pm so everything shuts down and everyone goes to bed. The only things that stay open after 8pm are the pubs – they must have a specially extended licence or something.
Ioften wonder what to write about each month for my column and then I just think well what news story has caught my attention recently – I could write about that. This usually works but sometimes there just seems to be too much news to concentrate on. Sometimes you think the world has gone mad with some of the stories you hear. Some stories just take your breath away, some make you laugh others can quite easily make you want to cry; others can make you angry.