Andreaa’s Diary #21

Posted by Andreaa Kurby
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Category: Andreaa's Diary, From Andreaa.Blog38 Comments

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eally Am Beginnin To Feel Lyk A Whale Now.. I Know I Said I Wouldnt Harp On About Baby Bean On Me Diary Bt Its All I Can Think About At The Moment.. Its Nice Bein Off Work && The Sun Has Been Out So I Hve Been Lyin In The Garden On A Big Garden Lyk Cushion Thingy.. Funny Thing Is, I Can Still Get Into My Size 10 Summer Clothes Frm Last Year, Even If They Are A Bit Tight Around The Tummy.. I Hve To Admit Everyone Is Spoilin Me, I Was Only Lyin There For Ten Minutes && Gary Brought Me A Non-Alcoholic Cocktail.. Was Great Lazin Around Lyk Lady Muck..

Granny At Christmas

Posted by Davidd Birko
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Category: Grannyisms63 Comments

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ince we relaunched Jammy Toast a few months back, we have neglected our grannyisms. I think there are probably two reasons for this; one, Granny is getting pretty good at hiding her grannyisms from us and two, I keep forgetting to make a note of the ones I observe. I think our New Year’s Resolution must be to keep an eye open for more grannyisms. So as a special Christmas surprise to all the Granny fans out there, I thought we could feature a favourite festive grannyism from a couple of years ago. This particular year, I had not seen much of Granny during the run-up to Christmas because she had flu and was staying out of everyone’s way so as not to pass it on.

Andreaa’s Diary #2 (From Turkey)

Posted by Andreaa Kurby
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Category: Andreaa's Diary57 Comments

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othin Ever Goes Right For Me.. I Am One Of Those People Who Everythin They Touch Just Turns To Shit.. I Think I Told Yous A While Ago That I Was Havin Hell With My Area Manager Who Just Wouldnt Let Me Get On With My Job Of Managin Me Shop.. She Had To Micro-Manage Everythin Herself.. It Got To The Point Where I Couldnt Take Any More So It Was Either Hve A Word With The Regional Manager About Her Or Leave.. I Didnt Really Want To Leave At The Time, So I Spoke To The Regional Manager && Told Her What Was Goin On.. She Was Great, She Listened To What I Had To Say && Then Said That She Would Take The Area Manager Off My Shop && She Would Act As Area Manager As Well As Regional Manager && I Would Hve Nothin To Do With The Area Manager Any More.. I Was Made Up && Actually Happy To Go To Work In The Mornings For A While..

Our Granny #33

Posted by Davidd Birko
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Category: Grannyisms53 Comments

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or a while I thought Granny was going to get through December without performing any of her Grannyisms worth reporting on. It has been a very quiet month where Granny is concerned mostly because she hasn’t been well – contracting flu – and locking herself away so as not to pass it on to the rest of us. With hindsight I suppose it was too much to ask that she would go a whole month without causing mayhem and pandemonium – this time with a Christmas theme to it. With Christmas nearly upon us, Granny started writing lists and asking everyone if there was anything we wanted or needed. We were to let her know early so that things weren’t being rushed at the last minute.

The Andreaa Angel Show #62

Posted by Andreaa Kurby
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Category: The Andreaa Kurby Show35 Comments

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f there is one thing I fuckin’ hate about coming back from holiday is everyone asking if you had a good time.. What’s worse than that is when you had a godshite of a holiday!! It all went wrong right from the start.. We got to Manchester airport && there was a power cut.. The whole airport wasn’t cut off just the bit that pumps fuel into aeroplanes && our plane only had 2 hours of fuel on it.. It takes about 4 hours to fly to Turkey.. So we sat in the plane for 2½ hours thinking what to do next.. Then some fucking brain-of-britain contestant said why dont we fly somewhere else && refuel there?? Brilliant.. So we took off && flew to Birmingham airport but because we weren’t meant to go there we had to circle for 40 minutes waiting for permission to land.. Yea great idea that!!

The Andreaa Angel Show #57

Posted by Andreaa Kurby
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Category: The Andreaa Kurby Show47 Comments

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o I started me new job at the Kwik-E-Mart && i fuckin’ hate it.. More to the point i hate the fat, lazy bastard who i have to work with.. At the Kwik-E-Mart because stores are open from 6am until 11pm then they have two managers, me && the fat kunt.. This week he is working the early shift && I am on the lates.. There is one hour overlap so we can meet up && discuss any problems or plans for the shop.. I haven’t seen him once all week because he doesn’t get in until about half-six && he is usually gone by 11am.. All the staff are complaining to me that their wages are wrong && yet he wont give me the password for the payroll system && says he will deal with it.. My bet is its because he has fucked the whole thing up.. The store is filthy && he has overstocked on all kinds which means the wastage levels are unbelievable.. The idea of having two managers is so you can consult && work together but he just keeps everything to himself because I think he is scared of me finding out he has fucked everything up.. But I am on to ya mate!!

Our Granny At Christmas

Posted by Davidd Birko
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Category: Grannyisms33 Comments

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told everyone the other week that we wouldn’t be able to post a Granny story this month because she has been on her best behaviour. She has not been committing any Grannyisms, either that or she has been using stealth methods to hide her mishaps. That has all changed in the last couple of days so we are now in a position to post a special Granny at Christmas story for you all. It is worth mentioning though, that Granny tried to keep these two mishaps from Jammy Toast but couldn’t and then has used threatening behaviour towards us if we “snitch”.