If there is one thing I fuckin’ hate about coming back from holiday is everyone asking if you had a good time.. What’s worse than that is when you had a godshite of a holiday!! It all went wrong right from the start.. We got to Manchester airport && there was a power cut.. The whole airport wasn’t cut off just the bit that pumps fuel into aeroplanes && our plane only had 2 hours of fuel on it.. It takes about 4 hours to fly to Turkey.. So we sat in the plane for 2½ hours thinking what to do next.. Then some fucking brain-of-britain contestant said why dont we fly somewhere else && refuel there?? Brilliant.. So we took off && flew to Birmingham airport but because we weren’t meant to go there we had to circle for 40 minutes waiting for permission to land.. Yea great idea that!!
So I started me new job at the Kwik-E-Mart && i fuckin’ hate it.. More to the point i hate the fat, lazy bastard who i have to work with.. At the Kwik-E-Mart because stores are open from 6am until 11pm then they have two managers, me && the fat kunt.. This week he is working the early shift && I am on the lates.. There is one hour overlap so we can meet up && discuss any problems or plans for the shop.. I haven’t seen him once all week because he doesn’t get in until about half-six && he is usually gone by 11am.. All the staff are complaining to me that their wages are wrong && yet he wont give me the password for the payroll system && says he will deal with it.. My bet is its because he has fucked the whole thing up.. The store is filthy && he has overstocked on all kinds which means the wastage levels are unbelievable.. The idea of having two managers is so you can consult && work together but he just keeps everything to himself because I think he is scared of me finding out he has fucked everything up.. But I am on to ya mate!!
Itold everyone the other week that we wouldn’t be able to post a Granny story this month because she has been on her best behaviour. She has not been committing any Grannyisms, either that or she has been using stealth methods to hide her mishaps. That has all changed in the last couple of days so we are now in a position to post a special Granny at Christmas story for you all. It is worth mentioning though, that Granny tried to keep these two mishaps from Jammy Toast but couldn’t and then has used threatening behaviour towards us if we “snitch”.
Hiya Toasters && am sorry I never wrote yas an Angry Show the other week but have been in pain…. I keep gettin these horrible pains down me arm && then it ends up goin down me legs too && I keep gettin like dead tired too…. Me Mum has fibromyalgia so am hopin its not that…. It gives ya headaches && like feeling numb in ya hands && feet…. It can make ya have problems with ya memory too – they call that a “fibro fog”…. Me Mum has that because we started thinking she was getting dementia like me grandad but then the doctor said it was part of the fibromyalgia…. I dont think I have had memory problems but I cant really remember…. Hahaha that was one of Davidds jokes the mad kunt!!
Hiya Toasters, am back from me holibobs so Davidd said I had to tell yas all about it. So I went to Turkey again because I have been goin there for years and I know loads of people there. The only problem was a Hurricane decided to come on its holiday to Turkey too. I cant remember its name so I have been calling it Hurricane Sally. It lasted for about three days where it was really windy and it was raining and thundering too. I bloody hate thunder it scares the life out of me. When I told Davidd about it he said I needed a Thunder Buddy to get me through it.
Hiya Everyone && As Yas Can Probably Tell Am Back From Me Little Holiday To Turkeyy.. Don’t Ask Me If I Had A Good Time Or Owt Coz I Can’t Remember.. It Was Me Birthday While I Was Away So I Spent Most Of Me Hols Pissed.. Normally When I Go On Holiday I Drink Loads But Coz It Was Me Birthday I Was Even Worse Than Normal.. && Before Davidd Grasses On Me,, I Met This Lad Out There && I Ended Up Wiff A Big Spammy On Me Neck && He Even Give Me One On Me Face!! It Was That Bad It Ended Up All Bruised So Am Now Back Home Walkin Round Liverpool With A Big Bruise On Me Cheek.. I Wouldn’t Mind But The Lad Did It Right In Front Of Me Mum Who Thought It Was The Funniest Thing Ever!! She Was Pissing Herself Laughing At Him.. I Was Like Mum,, I’m Ya Little Princess Ya Meant To Protect Me From Lads..
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