Talking Shit #1

Posted by Davidd Birko on
Category: Shit76 Comments

Today we are going to ask everyone who visits Jammy Toast to just “Talk Shit”. It has become a bit of a Jammy Toast tradition whereby we ask everyone who visits us to leave a comment on just about any subject they choose. Funny or sad, true or false, real or fake; we don’t give a shit, as long as it is entertaining and doesn’t really hurt anyone’s feelings. We usually ask you to do this because we are too lazy to think of anything else to post. However, people generally enjoy the freedom to whine and bitch. The rules are simple to explain – anything goes!

If you visit Jammy Toast on a “Talking Shit” day; you must leave a comment behind – it’s the law! If you are new to Jammy Toast then just say “Hello” or maybe introduce yourself; tell us how you found us and why you visited. Anything you can think of.

Remember, though; Stuff is cool – Spam is not!

If you break the rules and visit us today and don’t leave a comment then please remember Andreaa has a very particular set of skills; skills acquired over a very long career. Skills that make her a nightmare for people like you. If you leave a comment, that will be the end of the matter. She will not look for you, she will not pursue you. But if you don’t communicate, she will look for you, she will find you, and she will murderize you.

You have been warned!

Garfield Strip

Garfield is copyright © Paws, Inc. If you like the cartoons we reproduce here on Jammy Toast, please consider purchasing some of the Garfield official merchandise. These are available through where you can view them in full-colour and at a higher quality!

Posted By

Davidd Birko

A sad and lonely old man who used to have a life but it has now been taken over by his dedication to the cause of saving teddy bears, running Jammy Toast and searching eBay, car boot sales, charity shops, lofts and even under beds for unwanted bears. He has even now taken in Flat Eric to save him from homelessness – his life is no longer his own!

76 Comments on “Talking Shit #1”

  1. :music-1: Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
    ‘Cause I wonder where you are
    And I wonder what you do
    Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
    Or is someone loving you? :music-2:

  2. Kids are little bastids, mine wont go the shop for loo roll coz her lad mates call her shity arse if they see her.

  3. I don’t even like more than 6 people, so I wouldn’t be gathering with them, but let me tell you, this government can piss off!

  4. If 52 boats crossed the Channel today, and I was Home Secretary, I woud expect the resignation of Border Force on my desk tonight.

    Along with my own to the Prime Minister.

  5. It’s bullshit that the tenner your nan puts in a card hasn’t risen with inflation AT ALL in the last 20 years!

  6. Someone is in Wilko Car Park with speakers playing Circle in the Sand by Belinda Carlisle at full blast. If not, it’s actually Belinda doing a set.

    1. Just found out its not Belinda Carlisle. It’s the Ark Project Choir. Decent sound system too… Bose possibly?

  7. Every Sunday morning I go out and do two hours of bell ringing.

    All my friends take the mickey out of me for having such a strange hobby, but I find it very therapeutic.

    It pisses the bus driver off a bit though.

  8. Turned up early for me cousins 18th early here and the DJ is some 17 year old lad. Me arl fella bouncing right over “you’re not gonna be playing this rave shit they listen to are ya? Have you got 80s and 90s?”

    Sets his gear up and me arl fellas shouting “how fucking loud is this? What the fuck? Put some fucking Marvin Gaye on” hahahah

  9. The good news is that our aerial display on Saturday is ON.

    All welcome at the New Brighton Dips. Show starts at 06:30.


  10. Guess who’s back? We were soooo bloody excited to be back this series with you lovely lot!! If you missed us tune in to Channel4+1 or try catchup for Gogglebox!!! :heart:

  11. I’m hanging on for the next pandemic now to be honest. I wanna be one of the first ones to die and get called a Super Spreader and have me photo on the front of the Daily Star.

  12. BREAKING NEWS: Our 18 hour peace talks with the Prenton Blue Tits have ended with a deal being agreed in principle. Big press conference planned for tomorrow on the Oval Sports Centre. Can all media attending please wear a mask. 14:00 start.

  13. Clever this virus. It only attacks you if you’re in groups of six or more but not if you’re all spending money.

  14. I’ve been allowed to stay up as I’ve been a really good boy today. Lush had 4hrs of mega stressful meetings and I was very quiet. I didn’t embarrass her once!

  15. Could do without spiders at this hour yeno, am floating round me room like fuckin splinter cell trying to kill the little c*nt!

  16. SATURDAY: Early bloody cloud in the south will ease to sunny spells across England & Wales. Fuckin’ showers for Scotland & N. Ireland ahead of some bastard heavy rain later.

  17. I needed a bit of time away from the Nip so I sat on the bench and kept an eye on these strange objects called ‘potatoes’. They grow under the ground and you can’t see what you’ve got till you dig them up. Personally, I wouldn’t bother. I wonder if I could grow Dreamies?

  18. Thanks to everyone who came along to the aerial display. Apart from the man in the blue Berghaus coat who brought a FLAN along for breakfast. We said NO picnics!! :angry:

  19. “Hallo, Piglet. This is Tigger. We’ve come for haycorns, because poor Tigger hasn’t had any breakfast yet.”
    Piglet pushed the bowl of haycorns towards Tigger and then he got close up to Pooh and felt much braver. “So you’re Tigger? Well, well!”

  20. Remember as a kid before school ye ma would go… “what do you fancy for your tea?” Like wtf mum it’s 8 in the morning?

  21. Rolf report 12 Sept

    When Lizzie the kitten came to stay recently, she brought a large quantity of her favourite toy – little sparkly pom pom balls. Now I keep finding them tucked away in corners & under chairs & cupboards. I’m channelling my inner kitten to play with them.

    Rolf x

  22. Its A Bit Baltic This Morning Which Means One Thing.. Its Nearly Time For A Row With Mum Over When To Turn The Heating On!!

  23. This waking up before my alarm needs to stop. Get up and go running before work or be normal and stay in bed?

  24. Good morning Razzbox. It is all change around here isn’t it?

    Today’s a good day to have a good day!

  25. Always feel a but unnerved when girls say stuff like “Choke me” in bed. I’m bound to be the one in 500,000 who misjudges the pressure and ends up wheeling a corpse into the Mersey in an ASDA trolley!

  26. I’m out early today checking my handiwork, think I’m going to need something with smaller holes if my new fangled mousie catching contraption is going to work. Oh well, back to the old fashioned method of just staring at hedges. :paws:

  27. Good luck today Tranmere Rovers. A long, hard season ahead but every chance to be in the mix at the top. A good result today would be a fantastic start!!

    #SWA #TRFC

  28. I’m very determined now and I have decided today that the careful eating will start in earnest on the 14th of September. My next decision will be to select the year.

  29. Mansfield away conjuring up memories of hired Transit vans with the drivers seat not bolted down, mersey tunnel break downs, burnt pub furniture, stolen cakes and ruined coal dust ruined training shoes.

  30. Four years to the day me ma and r kid came in with a dog and I said why? Now he’s my child and I’m like a Facebook Ma getting photos with him.
    Much love chief x

  31. In work and I’ve give my daughter my bank card to go to town to get her hair done. Already had 3 alerts its been used and she’s not even at the hairdressers.

  32. Me trying to remember the name of The Weakest Link lady…

    Anne… Geddes? No not that one.
    Anne… of Green Gables? Absolutely not!
    Wtf brain.

  33. FYI supermarkets – don’t even THINK about pulling the party food selection this Christmas. I still want to eat 20 mini Kievs as I weep with loneliness on the kitchen floor.

  34. Me: “Did you eat breakfast today?”
    Mum: “No”.
    “Why not?”
    “I didn’t fancy toast”.
    “What do you fancy?”
    “Roast woodcock with game chips and a dollop of Cumberland Sauce, but it’s not going to happen is it?”

  35. My human wants me to tell you that she has had lots of orders and she is doing her best to get them ready. She knows you will be patient. Her house smells so strong of Nip that all the neighbourhood cats are gathering in the garden (not really, only joking).

  36. Feller infront of me here flapping ass keeps turning round an lookin at me, you’ve got a pair of timerland boots on lad am hardly gonna jump ye

  37. My washing machine has just sung it’s song to tell me it’s finished.
    I’ve already hung the washing out.
    Apparently I put another load on and don’t remember?
    Past me is super productive.

  38. I lapsed again yesterday with a take-away curry. I had a lunch meeting today so that was another lapse. I will make a firm effort to start the diet again on Monday. I will get there I tell myself!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *