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You have been warned!
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61 Comments on “Talking Shit #225”
Happy Friday Toasters!
Have a lovely weekend!
It’s a chippy tea tonight.
Happy Friday to everyone except the people who don’t take this virus seriously.
What’s up Linda McNoodle-Head get back in ye basket ye stink!
How weird is it that the avatars are in color? What’s up with that?
On the old Jammy Toast we used to filter everyone’s avatars to display in black & white to match the theme and because teddy bears cannot see in colour. When we changed to this old fashioned scheme we filtered all the avatars to sepia to match. The only problem there was that it distorted some people’s colours and they looked sickly in their avatars.
So now we don’t touch them at all, they remain how people set them up.
Remember when waterbeds were a thing? Where’d those go?
NOT in the Birkenhead Travelodge – we can confirm!
Wa a woman Kathy Burke is. Fuckin sick her!
And there was Jimmy the Hat. That was the point there, that he never wore a hat.
I feel like garbage today.
I am not a horrible person. I feel bad about my bald crusade after someone did actually say to me the other day “how would you feel if all your hair fell out and you had to look at your tweets?” And I did feel bad like.
Today is just a fucked up day.
Bought dark chocolate Kitkats mostly because the kids don’t like them.
Why do people say wha when they know wha ye said, fuckin shut up it’s not gettin said twice!
Everyone is getting so bitchy. It’s Friday!
Everyone’s arguing I just woke up from a nap and I’m eating strawberry!
If I survive 2020 I’m going to put all my resources into training felines to make a dramatic reproduction of the events of this year.
I’m going to call it CATastrophe.
That Tesco & Morrisons have had to effectively ration certain products again, should tell you that we as a nation learn nothing & a sizeable proportion of us make it difficult to see why we’re even worth saving.
These arseholes make me ashamed to be British.
“Hello, just a quick one” is never ever a quick one is it. Piss off.
Roasties burnt, then?
You have reached Rag’s out of hours service. Please fuck off untill I’ve bagged a fish!
Never had spots in my life not even as a teenager and since wearing masks I legit have acne not even being dramatic here!!
It’s freezing, miserable and it’s not worth going the alehouse cause it’s shite these days. But Gardeners World is on and Kylie is on bbc4.
Just asked my kids if they can go where ever they want tommorow where do they want to go? The 6 years old wants to go to America n the 3 year old wants to go Primark. Coin toss in the morning then.
The winter dressing gown is back out and I for one am happy.
I’m burritoed up in my blanket and my duvet but it just doesn’t compare to being snuggled up with you.
You can take a horse to water but you can’t make a 6yo go to sleep.
Right I’m off to bed. Work tomorrow in a mosquito infested, Hillbilly populated, one horse town. Like Burt Reynolds in Deliverance but with a more hairy chest.
there was a lad in my school who used to vomit on people at will if they pissed him off. i often wonder what he’s up to now. all youd hear was retching followed by “LAD DONT LEAVE ME ALONE!!”
hes probably in the tory cabinet now.
I don’t even know why I’m sittin in me garden smoking weed wondering whether birds with tattoos can wear fake tan? Doesn’t the tan cover the tattoo?
Fifty years ago we could travel to the moon. Now we can’t go to Canada.
I love how all of cinema was made for me to watch on my laptop while also on my phone.
Another Nothing Happening film. ET is happy to wobble around the plot, checking that everything is alright. I sometimes wonder if she knows she is a bit different to the rest of us cats. It makes no difference to us, we all love her and her wobbliness anyway.
There’s loads of people in the world and yet, you don’t see people with, like, dangly eyes more often. It amazes me.
“What I like doing best is Nothing,” said Christopher Robin. “It’s when people call out to you, ‘What are you going to do?’ and you say ‘Oh, Nothing,’ and then you go and do it. It means just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”
Right I’m off to concrete a shed base because I’ve nothing else to do. Should of been punting in Cambridge with Eric and the Assisted Suicide Squad, dressed like a shop window dummy in John Simons window, flirting outrageously with local nans and quaffing IPA in style.
Rolf report 26 Sept
As the new students arrive on campus, the humans are spreading my mantra “sniff & scratch”. It means that if you meet me on campus & want to interact with me, put out your hand so I can sniff you, then give me a little scratch by my ears. I love that.
Rolf x
I wonder if anyone can imagine what it’s like to have to pay for your own food when you only earn £150k.
Good job I only have to support the kids I admit to.
The year is 2134 & Matt Hancock’s great great grandson is on the news telling the UK a world beating test & trace app will be ready by Christmas.
My elderly neighbour’s a lazy fucker. He’s been napping in his conservatory for two days non-stop now.
Good morning to everyone except women I hate women
Good luck today, Tranmere Rovers.
#swa #trfc
Happy Caturday
It’s not proper football if you can’t be there is it?
Happy Caturday friends, may you all find a sun puddle to warm your whiskers.
Never fall in love with out checking he can make a decent cup of tea first, or seeing his willy.
In St. Helens if anyone wants a fight?
It’s a fucking joke ya cant watch ya kid playing football outside but ya can go to in a pub with hundreds of people… fuck off!
Right then. Home early all set for a big family day out. Pinky & Perky aren’t dressed. So I’m off to take Knobhead the beach, if any huskies fancy a dust up?
It’s become increasingly clear the government’s Covid app has been designed by a dog.
Everyone is thankful that I am still dead.
having a fella is like having a delinquent, stupid son sometimes. the soft tw*t.
Matt Hancock has told us to avoid casual sex and stick to ‘established’ partners. He can piss right off with that ridiculous, unrealistic rules.
Phew, it’s OK. Dominic Cummings just reminded me that these rules don’t apply to us.
Some proper negative miserable bastids around yeno baffles me
I see VAR shithousery has started early this season.
Alexa, tell my online friends that I’m awake.
Don’t look to Politicians to end any of this.