If you visit Jammy Toast on a “Talking Shit” day; you must leave a comment behind – it’s the law! If you are new to Jammy Toast then just say “Hello” or maybe introduce yourself; tell us how you found us and why you visited. Anything you can think of.
Remember, though; Stuff is cool – Spam is not!
If you break the rules and visit us today and don’t leave a comment then please remember Andreaa has a very particular set of skills; skills acquired over a very long career. Skills that make her a nightmare for people like you. If you leave a comment, that will be the end of the matter. She will not look for you, she will not pursue you. But if you don’t communicate, she will look for you, she will find you, and she will murderize you.
You have been warned!
Garfield is copyright © Paws, Inc. If you like the cartoons we reproduce here on Jammy Toast, please consider purchasing some of the Garfield official merchandise. These are available through Garfield.com where you can view them in full-colour and at a higher quality!
Posted By
61 Comments on “Talking Shit #227”
Happy Friday Toasters!
Happy Friday to everyone except the people who are under lockdown.
Have a lovely weekend Toasters!
If you rub your eyes hard enough you can see last Tuesday.
Can we finally boycott Sky?
Petition for Joe Anderson to make “It’s…. Rebekah Vardy’s account” day a bank holiday in Liverpool.
I hope everyone’s having a fanta stick Friday.
This corona an lockdown shit is just takin the piss now proper windin me up.
If we ever get to Hurricane Zeta just know the apocalypse has begun.
What’s the point in letting ye brother stay if he won’t even go the shop for ye?
You couldn’t pay me £15 to watch a full game of football on my telly.
If you’ve got kids and you’ve never locked yourself in the bathroom to get away from them, we can’t be friends…
I’m in the bog now someone send me emergency gin plz
We baptize all our dinosaurs just in case all that catholic shit turns out to be true
I can see a situation whereby when the next round of ‘normal’ televised fixtures are released, they’ll be games involving shite teams. And the games involving the teams that pull in the biggest viewing figures will suddenly end up being the PPV games.
Nailed on. Disgusting.
Do you ever stop and think what a fucking cheek Mark Chapman had? He was one of ours. From Menlove Ave. Cheeky bastard.
I’m watching A Hard Days Night. I must be overtired I keep hearing Thomas The Tank Engine.
Is it just me or are old people getting much younger?
I wanna be so hot that my opinion is both respected AND disregarded.
I might do that Stoptober thing? Seen as the alehouse will be shut on Monday, it’s too cold to drink Frosty Jack in the park and we are nearly half way through October.
I’ve been washing the same clothes for 2 weeks every time I remember the washers full the cloths smell damp hahha bring back nanny pearl or dot cotton.
“Ye fuckin likkle muppet” f*ckin hate Mancs yeno bird havin beef with a lad there on a video an hes just whipped a blade out an swiped her thumb clean off!
Fuckin arl ass tha, hope her nail bird lashes her a dizzy for tha missing thumb tho.
LEWY
Wha HAHAH just don’t want her gettin ripped off.
GO AWAY HAHAHAHAHA
facebook memories reminding me that this time last year I was pissed as a fart in dublin. FEWMIN!
Iv got a new bird n when she gets back to my 37 messages n location request we will be happy.
Digging through the attic for Halloween decorations, and now if you need me this weekend, I’ll be reading the complete spiral-bound journals of Amy Dillon, ca. 1996-1998.
See what I have to put up with? She looks like she wants to murder me!
Rolf report 10 Oct
I love to relax by perching above the door. I use the coat hook as a stabilising foot rest, my tail as a counterbalance & the top rail as a handy chin rub. Whilst dozing up here I can keep one eye on my domains to spy sudden dangers. It’s a good life.
Rolf x
Barbara’s favourite games is where he likes to chase me but I pretend I haven’t seen him. I don’t mind, he’s only young and he thinks it’s funny. He sometimes does silly things like running part of the way up a tree and then jumping down. My human says it takes all sorts.
Morning. Has John Lennon buggered off for another ten years?
Rained off this morning. Luckily my Trophy wife has a list of jobs as long as your arm to keep me entertained. Passionate love making must be on another spreadsheet though?
It’s my goddamn birthday! Send nudes.
just been told the dic pic i received this morning was sent to another girl as well. i thought i was special. im fewmin!
Last night my 5yr old son was crying because the shadow man was looking at him from his wardrobe. I opened the wardrobe & showed him there was no one in there. I tucked him in, kissed his forehead & said “The shadow man lives under your bed, you silly sausage”
Kids!
Good morning, weirdos. Happy Saturday. Time for some caffeine and shenanigans.
Need to know more about that girl who lost her thumb, is she ok? Did she go back for it? Did he get arrested? So many questions.
Morning fucko’s
Some bird on fb breeding pugs by the minute and I’ve been waiting on my only messing papers for 7 months, (not knowing she wasnt legit) she keeps making the worst excuses instead of just saying look there isn’t any. Fucking poor pug ma will have a Fanny like vending machine.
I have been playing some great cassettes in the car, but as they are so old, when a side comes to an end, instead of reversing, the tape comes off the spool. I’m so useless at taking things apart so am not sure of my next move!
Happy Caturday!
Saturday’s the day we play the game.
Got my water bill today – £400.
Then I saw an advert for Oxfam stating they can supply a whole village with water for £5 a month…
Think I’ll be changing my supplier!
I avoid 99.9% of people I know, even the ones I like.
So the random Greek cat kipped in our room again last night, so our Soph said we need to name it…
I won with Stavros Catley!
I’m still dead.
Weekend cooking in this house is never ending!
Mad how we’re all functioning smackheads.
Honestly the most annoying thing ever having to isolate when there’s fuck all wrong with ye, &ur mates r asking u to come out. Can’t bare missing out but be assed gettin a fine 2 days before this ends hahahahaha once again Boris Johnson should pass away the fat mess.
Please look after each other. Thank you.
#WorldMentalHealthDay
Tranmere game has started and we are already losing 1-0 after only a couple of minutes. The Tranmere team is depleted due to the Rona!!
Tranmere are now 2-0 down.
Saturday shenanigans on the little blue planet!
All the Facebook ma’s uploading their alder hey pjs is it? You were all spitting at nurses, ordering bouncy castles and swigging cans of strongbow outside the place not long ago!
Salford City 2 – 0 Tranmere Rovers
EFL Division Two – Half-Time
Everyone in the group chat had boss sex last night then there’s me like “yeah but have you ever put your maccies chips ON the burger?”
On mental health day I’d like to give a shout out to the waiting list am on.
Next week I will be introducing a three-tier traffic light system for lockdowns:
Green: Relax, you live in the South East
Amber: Careful now, this is The Midlands
Red: Get back in the house you plague-infested Northerner!
Salford City 2 – 2 Tranmere Rovers
EFL Division Two
Up the Bat Flu Rovers!