If you visit Jammy Toast on a “Talking Shit” day; you must leave a comment behind – it’s the law! If you are new to Jammy Toast then just say “Hello” or maybe introduce yourself; tell us how you found us and why you visited. Anything you can think of.
Remember, though; Stuff is cool – Spam is not!
If you break the rules and visit us today and don’t leave a comment then please remember Andreaa has a very particular set of skills; skills acquired over a very long career. Skills that make her a nightmare for people like you. If you leave a comment, that will be the end of the matter. She will not look for you, she will not pursue you. But if you don’t communicate, she will look for you, she will find you, and she will murderize you.
You have been warned!


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57 Comments on “Talking Shit #234”
Happy Friday Toasters!
Last weekend of lockdown!!
Happy Friday to everyone except those watching the Tranmere match on BBC2!
Enjoy the Tranmere game on the telly tonight!!
BREAKING: Police disperse militant vegan picket line outside TripeUK online shop.
“It is now completely safe to visit,” says TMB chairman.
I think it’s the right sort of weather for a hot cocoa.
We’ve earned some weekend. Let’s go.
Can’t wait to see what our fashion god manager is wearing tonight. Double gillet for the telly!
HAPPY FRIDAY!
See you tonight at 9pm for another cracking Gogglebox!
I am in the mood to get married.
Asking for a friend – when someone proper famous tweets you back are you then best friends?
My dad never even called yesterday to wish us happy thanksgiving. We called him but he didn’t answer his cell. Too busy eating with his new family in Georgia. I thought losing my mom was the hardest thing I’d ever go through. Losing my dad is a close second.
To be fair late last night he ‘liked’ my Facebook status wishing all a happy thanksgiving. You know, when he signed in to post all the pics of his great new family enjoying the holiday.
Our house is on the telly!
I am SICK of men walking around with fat juicy asses. You have absolutely no business with all that cake.
When I get my flat next year n I’m living alone yall better come round for company.
Did anyone just watch the lady on dinner date mix two different rosés together and market it as a cocktail? Mega hun.
Grandma: Do you have to take a little poopy hon?
3yo: No grandma I have to take a big shit!
I’ll never forget what my Grandad said to me just before he kicked the bucket…
he said, “Son, how far do you think I can kick that bucket?”
Gave someone advice the other day and they’ve just messaged me saying omg you were right. And Yeno what I got to thinking about how it’s really fucking exhausting being right all the time and that!!
See that fella that wears his hi vis to the boozer after he’s finished work…
He’s a kunt!
Day two in isolation.
Dave forgot the bog roll the daft sod. Had to wipe me arse on Barb’s nightie. Slight arse shaped indent in the chair. Ended up watching ten episodes of the Crown, Margaret’s a bit of alright.
Tranmere Rovers 1 – 0 Brackley Town
FA Cup 2nd Round
Spent $585 on Black Friday Christmas presents for myself. I am not good at this.
Nice seeing everyone feeling festive and posting pics of their Christmas trees on social media.
Lions would be easier to tame than my hair…
Half of this Labour party are about left wing as Marc Hottiger!
You have waited all these years for the recipe so here it is…
The Funky Cold Medina
Incrediants:
1oz Vodka
1oz Southern Comfort
1oz Blue Curacao
1½oz Cranberry Juice
Kiwi Slice
Directions:
In an ice filled glass combine vodka, southern comfort, blue curacao and shake well to mix.
Add to ice to serving glass and strain mix inside. Top with cranberry juice.
Garnish with a kiwi slice.
I didn’t know that Gloria Glover was following me until my human told me. She has changed so much, it’s almost like a different, friendlier cat has taken her place. I think she understands that this is her forever home and that she is loved by all of us, both cats and humans.
Well Im Getting It Up Today!!
“It isn’t so Hot in my field about three o’clock in the morning as some people think it is,” said Eeyore. “It isn’t Close, if you know what I mean. It isn’t Stuffy. In fact, Christopher Robin, quite-between-ourselves-and-don’t-tell-anybody, it’s Cold.”
Rolf report 28 Nov
Birdland is my favourite observation point in the house. I love to spy on the birds perching on the high rooftop. Yesterday, there was a squirrel in Birdland. He or she ran along the ridge then vanished. It’s good to get some variety in creature watch.
Rolf x
I see Gary Barlow is trending this morning, it’s such a shame that he blocked me.
Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn’t mean it…
Hello all. I am really fortunate to have a loving home and lots of people to love and bestow me with gifts fit for a king. Please may I possibly ask that instead of spoiling me you make a donation or spoil a kitty in need at your nearest shelter?
I can literally mention the most innocent things to my ma and she’s like “ok but should you be doing that bc you might get arrested and die”. Fuckinelll jean am only going the Asda!
Thanks for all those who’ve donated to Uncle Brad’s funeral fund so far – grand total of £1.85!
Happy weekend everyone!!
Fancy a brew?
I am in desperate need of a haircut… I look like a demented Yeti. Maybe it’s time to have a short back and sides…
SAGE hasn’t said nothing about naked Twister with the family on Christmas day.
Good news for those celebrating in Swindon…
They’ve changed all the lockers while I’ve been away and I bet my boss has thrown away my dead moth
Are you still there, Trump?
Good morning to everyone except me!
What a beautiful morning to feel defeated.
Pass me off as some sort of case study.
Fuck the match im going back to bed.
Im Going To Make Mince Pies.. Pictures Will Follow If Davidd Posts Them For Me..
Davidd MIGHT post them for you if Davidd gets a free sample!!
Starting a petition for Steve McMannaming to be sacked… everytime he opens his mouth I just think who the fuck asked you Steve?
Quack
It’s the sundayist Saturday ever!
The Biden White House is getting a cat. I look forward to forming a special relationship with my transatlantic cousin.
Does anyone actually enjoy watching football anymore?
Sky’s turning Carragher into a wool isn’t it!
My dads just got a rescue kitten, you should see our Rottweiler with him!
Someone has been dumping their rubbish in Nanny Auds wheelie bin every Friday. Next week Knobhead is going in there in the morning. Teach them!
Iceland van just pulled up outside ours there thought nothing of it till he knocked and handed me my Amazon parcel haha said what’s with the van he said PS5 and Xbox series x thefts vans are targeted.
Festive comes in threes.
• Toasted White Chocolate Mocha
• Peppermint Mocha
• Caramel Brulée Latte