If you visit Jammy Toast on a “Talking Shit” day; you must leave a comment behind – it’s the law! If you are new to Jammy Toast then just say “Hello” or maybe introduce yourself; tell us how you found us and why you visited. Anything you can think of.
Remember, though; Stuff is cool – Spam is not!
If you break the rules and visit us today and don’t leave a comment then please remember Andreaa has a very particular set of skills; skills acquired over a very long career. Skills that make her a nightmare for people like you. If you leave a comment, that will be the end of the matter. She will not look for you, she will not pursue you. But if you don’t communicate, she will look for you, she will find you, and she will murderize you.
You have been warned!
Garfield is copyright © Paws, Inc. If you like the cartoons we reproduce here on Jammy Toast, please consider purchasing some of the Garfield official merchandise. These are available through Garfield.com where you can view them in full-colour and at a higher quality!
Posted By
60 Comments on “Talking Shit #236”
Happy Friday Toasters.
Hope you all have a lovely weekend!
When I’m not saving the world I like to sit next to the cat & discuss how I make this comment more believable.
Always remember, the real hope comes from the people.
I was driving to collect my kid from school and I couldn’t help but smile at people walking dogs and couples holding hands or little kids coming out of school, i just felt genuinely happy and I realised it’s actually been a long fucking time this year since I felt like that!
How does it feel? To be on your own, with no direction home, like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone?
Peanut wishes you a happy Friday.
I dreamt I was able to talk to my mom somehow in the past, on the phone and I kept telling her how much I loved her, in the most heartfelt of ways and I wish I had thought to say it to her every time we spoke because honestly it never occurred to me that one day she’d be gone.
Happy Friday! Remember to make someone smile today by sending them a pic of your butthole.
Tonight is the last episode this series but have no fear we will be back before you know it. Who’s watching?
#gogglebox
Can a just say a can not feel my face.
What’s the worst Christmas present you have received.
Last year my mum bought me a snow shovel
My ex bought me a well for an African village via oxfam never used that fuming!
One Thing I Wont Miss This Year Is The Work Christmas Party.. Ive Never Had One Of Them End Well && Ive Never Got To Photocopy My Arse Either!!
I have. I still have the photocopy of one guys balls!!! #doubleturkey
I’ve decided it would be best for everyone involved if I’m a nasty little twat again. Thanks for your cooperation during my weak ass time. But it’s not for me x
Happy Friday Razzbox!
Kinda miss hugs and holding hands.
I actually DONT like champagne!
Give me a bottle of Jacob’s Creek any day.
My nan showed off to facebook that she’d photographed some seals at the beach, turns out there’s never ever been seals sighted at that beach before & the local council want to get in touch. Now she’s too scared to log into her facebook. Why even lie, Joan?
Been to Prenton Park today with the groundsman. Working together we can create the perfect turf!
For what I am about to receive I am sure I am truly grateful even if it’s not the fresh salmon that I requested!!
People always ask me Mick how do u do it, how do u keep it all together? I always reply welding.
im disc custard at some of these racist slurs.
Happy Birthday Norma girl! Liz Smith would have been 99 today
Boss wen you get a choccy off the christmas tree an it goes ave another one der mate an your like arr ey i cant den it goes no go ed lad you deserve it so you scran it hahahahahaha
My mum has just told me that Captain Tom is en route to Barbados – is this true or is my Devonian mother being creative?
This taxi driver is driving like Lewis Hamilton!
I’m not even tired now n I’m just grumpy bc of everything atm.
Piglet lived in a grand house in the middle of a beech-tree, and the beech-tree was in the middle of the Forest, and Piglet lived in the middle of the house. There was a piece of broken board which had “TRESPASSERS W” on it. Piglet said it was his grandfather’s name.
Where’s a sexy beast when you need one?
Rolf report 12 Dec
Yesterday was my online festive cat cafe for the students. It’s part of my role as a champion for student wellbeing while studying. I wore my sparkly vest for the occasion. Lots of students brought their own cats or posted photos. It was so joyful. We also talked to the students about Robert the Allotment Cat and his crew. Robert’s friend Nat posted photos of them and his books.
Rolf x
My owner made another Nothing Happening video yesterday. I walk, I stop, I look around, I walk and so on. I don’t know why my human thinks this is worth filming. It’s better when Barbara comes but he was busy and couldn’t make it. I’ll try to do something interesting in the next one.
sick of this constant rain at this point. how fucking depressing. hardly makes you want to jump out of bed and “seize the day”.
A Frenchman has won the €200M Euromillions lottery.
That’ll boil some piss today.
Pizza is just “posh” cheese on toast!
Totally overrated
Here we are again – another fresh day of Hell.
I was in Asda with 2 full trollies when a little old lady stood behind me at the checkout. She only had a pint of milk so I said, “Is that all you’ve got?
“She replied, “Yes.”
So I did the decent thing & told her, “If I were you I’d fuck off to another till. I’m gonna be ages!”
Can safely say Irene was a bad influence last night and I was not responsible for my actions!
It is exactly one year since the general election, when people voted overwhelmingly for me to let 63,000 people die, completely fuck up the Brexit negotiations and send gunboats to blow up the French because of fish.
Some total scumbag has set our heating to come on in the mornings. Im having to do my exercises naked this morning. Right I’m off to Wavertree swimming baths with Twink, if any top Odgies fancy a bare knuckle dust up in Williamson’s tunnels?
Can’t believe me and Irene caused a public disturbance, got asked to leave a public house and then Irene went on to break an oven in a gaff bc I left her unsupervised. Good to have her back on her bullshit tho tbf.
My biggest mistake of 2019 was buying 2020 infills for my Filofax.
Oven doors should really be more resilient!
Happy Caterday all. I am even thankful for the negative things that have made me a stronger and better cat. By negative I mean when I’m told I’m not allowed a third breakfast and stronger because I obtain that third breakfast.
Irene has just said how thin I am so I’m thinking I’m like Kate Moss and will be calling people fat cunts from now on x
I was asked a very good question a while back, “don’t you possess any ambitions of becoming a politician?” I said, “I’d love to become a politician but I do not possess the flexibility to get my head up my own arse!”
Just sayin, like!
It’s Caturday and all is quiet at the school, I’m on pawtrol and am staking a little hole in case something small and squeaky comes my way. I live in hope!
Just remembered, I am dead!
I just woke up. Im a scumbag!
Why’s everyone so angry today? It’s Saturday and it’s nearly Christmas god dammit!
We’d like to give a warm Birkenhead welcome to Frederik “The Destroyer” who has flown in from Oslo today. He’s here to deliver a 3 day course on how to sink French fishing boats that stray illegally into the Birkenhead Riviera. Thankfully we aren’t picking up the tab.
My leader has voted Huytons The Asda as the best Asda in the werld. Up the Two Dogs shopping experience.
Feels great that three years down the line, I’m still consistently submitting the worst steaming pile of shit essays my professors have ever, ever read!!
I’ve opened the bar!!
I’m genuinely sick of being right all the time you know. People say I’m crazy yeah, but I am yet to be wrong once I get a little feeling about something or someone. It might not make sense at the time but it always does in the end. And I always end up like…
When your dog wants an ice cube, give your dog an ice cube.
Chris Rea is letting the train take the strain this year.
Exeter City 5-0 Tranmere Rovers
EFL Division Two
I would kill for a big glass bottle of that green cream soda from back in the day.
Printer still won’t print. I’ve tried turning it on and off again, I’ve given it a “bish bash Bosh” still no idea why it’s not printing… how rude, the IT department have said that the problem seems to be that there is a big fat ginger backside stuck in the output tray!