The Andreaa Angel Show #79

Posted by Andreaa Angel on
Category: The Andreaa Angel Show51 Comments

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So the last couple of weeks yas have all been feeling sorry for Jay, the poor little lad got abused when he was a kid.. Well now ya can stop cos the little shit is in the dog house.. I have had food poisoning && throwing up every 10 mins && had really bad stomach cramps.. I think it was from some chicken i bought from aldi cos when i went back a few days later someone was taking back some sweetcorn that they had found maggots in.. Think they were trying to kill me off && i ended up feeling like death.. I ate the chicken for me lunch at work with a salad thing trying to be healthy.. if that’s what healthy eating does for ya i think i will stick to me normal scran..

So i went home from work early cos i just couldn’t stop goin’ hot && cold all the time.. One minute i was shivvering && the next i was sweatin’ like a pig.. When i got in me mum was like, “what are you doing home at this time..” So i told her i was dying && she sent me to bed && come up && was rubbin’ me hair && givin’ me cuddles && was dead worried about me.. I couldn’t sleep so i rang davidd up to tell him i was dyin but as soon as i got threw to him i felt like i was going to throw up && so i hung up && ran to the toilet.. Davidd was panicking wondering where i had gone && wat was up with me.. He rang me, was txtin’ me && ya could tell he was dead worried about me — awww bless his little cotton socks..

So when Jay comes in wot does he do?? He says “Awww hard luck, babe.. I will leave ya to it then,” && off he goes downstairs..

Vicki was at ours with the kids && that is where Jay really wanted to be.. he loves playing with Vicki’s kids so jay is off screaming && shouting all over the gaff chasing the kids && stopping me from goin’ asleep.. Then he’s out in the road playing with the kids on their bikes screaming && laughing.. The chances of me getting any sleep were fuckin’ nil.. So am lyin’ in bed calling him a bastard && worse when i hear someone comin’ up stairs.. I’m guessing its me mum or our vicki to see how i am but no it was Jay.. Awwwww he really cares after all, he’s come to see how I am feeling && check am ok.. Bollocks, hes come to get a game for the x-box to play with the kids.. He is only in the room 30 seconds && then he’s off sayin’ that he doesn’t want to disturb me.. yea wotevs!!

I know he is an only child so he never had the chance growing up of playin’ with kids but fuck me, he makes up for it now.. Whenever our Vicki comes round with her kids then i am long forgotten so he can play with them.. I don’t normally mind, in fact i think its great that he loves kids, but he could have just a little bit of time for me && some sympathy if am not well..

Then to make matters worser i’ve been watching Lost with Jay && since watching it I keep having weird dreams.. The other night’s dream went like this…

We went out with Jay’s mates into town && he bought drugs off his mate (behind my back but I seen it).. Then he was trying to be all loved up && was all over me, so his mate come up behind him && popped a balloon on his arse which they all found hysterical.. Think my dream took “doing balloons” to a whole new level!! Anyway he had these drugs && disappeared for ages so I went looking for him && found him walking out the toilets necking some girl.. He had clearly been shagging her in the fucking toilets of the club.. I got all hysterical screaming && hitting him as you do && this girl just laughed at me && told me to get a grip.. She then walked back into the toilet so i ran off && left Jay absolutely heartbroken..

I woke up back in bed && went to reach out to him because I was proper upset && the fucking kunt wasn’t there!! So I was lying there dead upset on my own in my bed while he was completely oblivious on his way to London for work..

What a kunt, he even cheats on me in me dreams!!

Traa xx

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About the Author

Andreaa Angel

I am Andreaa Angel && I am havin' a boss time here writing on da Blog && that 'coz Davidd is proper gettin' too old to write && it's doin' me wig in.. I feel proper ashamed da fukin' state.. Davidd told me to write yas little stories about me life but I said no. I can't write stories, I never even passed me GCSE English. But he bullies me yerno, so me stories are usually shite!!


51 Comments on “The Andreaa Angel Show #79”

  1. I woke up at 11am and then ate a bunch of food and took a 3 hour nap. I haven’t felt good in weeks. My life is falling apart around me. I figured this is the best platform to air all my personal business.

  2. Poor Dorothy is not very well. She has been doing little sneezes so my human’s friend is going to take her to the vet this morning. She thinks she might have cat flu. I hope Dorothy goes in the cat carrier without a problem, but I won’t hold my breath.

  3. Rolf report Oct 11

    I’m getting used to the new ramp up to the front door of the Economics Department. My family has renamed it Rolf’s ramp. The family wanted to check whether the electronic doors worked, even for a little fella like me. I was able to open them easily.

    Rolf x

  4. Kanga said very kindly, “Look in my cupboard, Tigger dear, and see what you’d like.” Because she knew that, however big Tigger seemed to be, he wanted as much kindness as Roo. “Shall I look, too?” said Pooh, who was beginning to feel eleven o’clockish.

  5. Tories plan to raise state pension to over 75 in the next 16 years’. You know what good. Because all them thick gobshites who voted them will probably be dead before they reach retirement and have to work all their lives an have no benefit to claim if they’re too sick x

  6. Shit week again, been fewmin beyond fewmin and it hasn’t stopped raining in fucking Southport. I’m going to have a chippy tonight that no plate exists that’s big enough for it. Sit in a bath of lager and eat it.

  7. I’m not so sure about the morning walk in this wind head teacher. Those nasty leaves blowing around are spooking me. I want to go back to bed.

  8. Ladies of the internet, don’t post a semi naked picture with a caption like “hate Monday’s grrrrr”. Just say “look at my tits and arse lads, don’t I look well”. We don’t mind, honestly.

  9. My therapist practically gave me permission to indulge in the rebellious teenage years that I wasn’t able to enjoy growing up. Buckle up it’s gonna be a fun ride. For me.

  10. Looking forward to today’s edition of the Great British Wag Off.

    Who will rear their head next? Katie Price? Rebecca Loos? Abbey Clancy? That brass who bedded Wayne Rooney? I’m on bloody tenterhooks.

  11. Dorothy update for you. She has had a long-acting antibiotic and my human just has to keep an eye on her and make sure she acts as normal. She is eating well, and not being friendly with me, so no change there then.

    We have all been vaccinated, but because of the stress it would cause to the more feral ones of us, it is not done every year. My human understands that not every vaccine will control all kinds of cat flu. Of course, we will be taken to the vet if it is necessary.

  12. Woke up on a random couch about 5:30am this morning having been at funeral / wake from 12:30pm & finishing drinking about 2:30am

    Went to work at 9.00am

    I’m sure Mark, whose funeral it was, is very proud of me & laughing at me right now, too

    Anyway, pint anyone?

    1. Oh yeah and and in the doghouse too, apparently video messaging her at 1:45 this morning to tell her I hadn’t pulled or been arrested wasn’t as warmly a received update as I anticipated it would be!

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