The Andreaa Angel Show #91

Posted by Andreaa Kurby on
Category: The Andreaa Kurby Show42 Comments

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Right am behind on telling ya stuff cos the last story about the court was from before christmas .. So today am gonna see if i can catch up && get yaz all up to date .. I told yas I was off work over christmas signed off on the sick cos of me back .. So I had a right laugh until I woke up about 3am on christmas morning && i couldn’t get me breath && started havin’ a full blown panic attack .. Me mum && our Vicki tried to calm me down for half an hour but they couldn’t && so they rang for an ambulance .. So early hours of christmas day our house was full of two paramedics && two ambulance people .. They tried to give me some of me ventolin but cos i couldn’t get me breath it wasn’t goin’ down .. They got one of them big bottle things that you fire the ventolin inhaler into it && then you breath out of the the bottle && your meant to get 33% more ventolin into ya lungs .. I think its called a spacer ..

So they did that && then were waiting to see if it worked .. Me mum made them cups of tea && they are all standing around drinking tea, eating biscuits && waiting to see if i was going to get any better .. Our Vicki even told them they better hurry up && piss off because Santa hadn’t been yet for the kids && they were probably putting him off .. They were all having a right little laugh && a party while I was at deaths doorway .. Eventually i calmed down && they said my oxygentation level was 100% && so i didn’t need to go the hozzy, I just needed to get an appointment with me doctor && they gave me a note to get one of them spacer things off the doctor && if I used it every day they reckoned i would be pretty good from there ..

When christmas morning finally come I was feeling much better .. I rang Davidd up to wish him happy christmas && told him what had happened && he told me about breathing into brown paper bag .. He reckons ya get a brown paper bag, get it like a balloon && start breathing into it && it slows your breathing down && stops ya panicking .. So next time I have a panic attack I think i’ll get me mum to phone Davidd instead of the ambulance .. He always seems to know wot to do about anything cos he’s such an old bastard .. He’s going to be 127 this year yano!!

So when christmas was over I tried to make an appointment with our doctor but I couldn’t get one until 5th November 2027, or something like that .. So I had to make do with an appointment with the senior nurse practioner thingy .. Omg she thought she was one step down from god .. I give her the note from the paramedic && she was asking me why he had said I needed a spacer thingy .. I said I dont fuckin’ know am not a doctor or a paramedic am i?? She went on && on about it && in the end I said why don’t ya ring them up && ask them why instead of asking me who hasn’t got a fucking clue or just give me the fucking prescription they were telling her to give me .. She give it me in the end && after her saying it would make no difference my breathing has been much better from using it than when I am just using the inhaler on its own — stuck up cow!! At least the paramedics knew what they were talking about even though she obviously doesn’t ..

Me new year was pretty cool, nothing special just all the family round at me mums && havin’ a few drinks .. but the next morning i was beginning to panic a bit about starting me new job .. I was due to start on the thursday && in I went for 8am on the 2nd January .. It was fantastic, everyone was really nice to me – the new girl – && really friendly towards me too .. The job is an absolute doddle compared to the old one. I don’t have to stack shelves && the only time I have to move anything on the shelves is if it is not selling too well then I can move it if I want to where i want .. I don’t have to follow a shelving plan like at the Kwik-e-Mart where everything had to be placed where head office said in the plan .. Lock the doors at 6am && I am on my way home by 6:10 .. Davidd has even started calling me a part-timer && that’s just what it feels like.

I get home, have me tea && am sitting down chilling in time for Corrie.

So am happy in me new job, let’s see how long it lasts!!

Traa xx

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About the Author

Andreaa Kurby

I am Andreaa Kurby && I am havin' a boss time here writing on da Blog && that 'coz Davidd is proper gettin' too old to write && it's doin' me wig in .. I feel proper ashamed for him da fukin' state .. Davidd told me to write yas little stories about me life but I said no, I can't write stories. I never even passed me GCSE English .. But he bullies me yerno, so me stories are usually shite ..

42 Comments on “The Andreaa Angel Show #91”

  1. I really don’t wish badness on anyone but when someone that’s been a prick and gotten away with it for years gets two footed by a Karma I do smile… and I don’t mean Andreaa.

  2. Everton star Theo Walcott announces he’s quitting football to launch a new bus company in Southampton.

    “I’ll miss football but I’m excited about my bus venture,” he told reporters.

  3. some straight men are hilariously worried about gay men fancying them. most women don’t fancy you with that shit quiff, skinny jeans which display your inadequate walnut balls and tic tac dick. behave.

  4. HUGE incentive for Tranmere Rovers now. Potentially 90 minutes away from the biggest home game for decades. Say what you will about United, they’re the biggest club in the world.

    Officially excited for Thursday!

  5. Christopher Robin
    Had wheezles
    And sneezles,
    They bundled him
    Into his bed.
    They gave him what goes
    With a cold in the nose,
    And some more for a cold
    In the head.

  6. Rolf report 16 Jan

    I’m able to live the life I want, as safe as I can be, because my human drives me to campus most days & delivers me to the Economics Department to have my second breakfast & start my day. I will go to campus anyway & this way I avoid crossing two roads.

    Rolf x

  7. Oh fuck off the pret neckers are back and sharing a seat, she’s crying. He’s pawing at her like a kitten. They’re opposite me. My days ruined. I’m going to work early. Thanks guys!

  8. I don’t see Janet very often because she is a bit shy. She doesn’t come near the veranda because she knows Dorothy is there and she’s a bit frightened of her. Janet was born at the allotments, she is about 8 years old now.

  9. Oh look, David Attenborough has commented on global warming! Are all the gammons gonna start taking the piss out of him like they do Greta Thunberg?

    Well Piers Morgan are you? Gobshite!

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