The Story Of Aleksandr Orlov #10

Posted by Aleksandr Orlov on
Category: Meerkats22 Comments

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Aleksandr and Sergei working on new book.

Today I continues tell peoples all about my life. Due to popular demand I have decide to tell my bear friends at Jammy Toast about amazing story of Orlov family. From amazing journey across Kalahari Desert to beginnings of meerkat comparing business on streets of Moscow. I am hoping from money Davidd pay to re-marble roof of Orlov Family mansion. Many meerkats have soggy fur because of hole in roof of mansion when it rain and lie in bed at night lookings at stars. I also say big thank you to Sergei who type for me on old typewriter found in attic in Meerkovo. Please enjoyment this

Chapter 10: Early Days.

The night I am being born there was thunderings and lightnings in the sky. Was this because of warm front coming in from Ukraine? Or was it because the universe was sense something importants was occurring in the history of meerkats?

Whatever the case, I was for definites a specials pup. My Russian was fluented by age two and I could count up to a hundred grubs by age three. I had read War and Peace: by age seven and by nine I had written an epic novel entitle The Enormous Adventures of Aleksandr the Adventurer. My Mama and Papa were delight with little Aleksandr Orlov.

They sent me to school at Madame Meerstropovich’s Academy for Talented Meerkats, which was full of the offsprings of the important families and was finest school in Russia. I was advance for my year and showed early sign of entrepreneuriousness with my ‘Homework Done In Exchange For Tasty Food Things’ business (it sound better in Russian). Very reasonable rates. 3 quadrilateral equations = 4 caramelised cockroaches; 2 geometry exercises = 10 sugared ants; essay on causes of the Meerkat/Mongoose wars = 1 scorpion. I think I am like the young Sugar Alan only nicer to look at.

At this time Papa was having great successes with meerkat comparing business. He had many shops (though he mostly work in flagship shop in Petrova Street) and once a month I was allowed to sit on counter and watch Papa do comparings. His loyal assistant Stanislav would teach me the comparisons, and I would hide his spectacles for pranks.

At school, I was showing skills for the amateur dramatics. When I was 15 year old, I made production of the play Uncle Vanya but with a car chase at the end which I wrote myself.

I was also talent at the sport. I learned the fencing, how to wield a golf stick, and to do the archery. I didn’t take after my Papa and put on the box gloves because a lot of peoples say my snout is my best feature and it would be shame for damage it.

But mostly I love the burrow–sleighing.

Burrow-sleighing start when meerkats live in burrows and not mansions. We sit on sleigh and zoom through tunnels at danger speeds. It is very excite and skilful and I was captain of our school team, the Meerstropovich Blurs (we are blur because we are so speed). We make mince-millipede of every other school in the district.

When I was last year of school, the Meerstropovich Blurs got to finals of Russian National Burrow Sleighing Championships. Very big day. We travel to Moscow to take on the Mongoose Sleighers.

Before we start I give the team a speech of rousingness, Just like Great Granddaddy Vitaly had done all those years ago. “Stiff your haunches, put on your britches!” I cry. They all become very roused.

Was tense race. Mongooses very fat and heavy, as well as smelly, so they go fast. But we are more nimbly, and we go faster!

My Mama and Papa say they are never prouder than when Aleksandr win Burrow-Sleigh National Championships Trophy.

To be continued…

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About the Author

Aleksandr Orlov

Founder of comparethemeerkat.com, Aleksandr lives and works in Moscow, where many generations of his family live and thrive. Part-time writer for the bear blog he also has found time to write his autobiography 'A Simples Life'. He enjoys going to the cinema with Sergei. However, he has many troubles dealing with people comparing meerkats and looking for a cheap deal on car insurance. Meerkat -- Market. A son of mongoose could tell difference!


22 Comments on “The Story Of Aleksandr Orlov #10”

  1. I had imagined my daughter would do the grocery shopping for me since she’s home all day and has a car. But sure, I can stop on my way home from work there’s literally NOTHING else I’d rather be doing!

  2. NASA scientists say it’s possible to live on Mars but that’s absolutely bollocks… I tried it once, I put on 5 fucking stone and developed diabetes!

  3. Here is my Review of 2018…

    Brexit.
    Brexit.
    Brexit.
    Russia poisoned People.
    Brexit.
    Hot.
    Football didn’t come home.
    Still Fucking Hot.
    Brexit.
    Russia poisoned more People.
    Brexit.
    Brexit.
    Theresa May can’t Dance.
    Brexit.
    Brexit.
    Trump was a Div.
    Brexit.
    Pissing Brexit.
    Christmas.

  4. I am sick in bed with man flu and feeling pretty rough. In case I die I am making it clear that my wishes remain the same. I want my ashes thrown into my ex-husband’s face. You have to shout “You want a piece of me?!” while doing it. Thank you.

    I am KIDDING. Obviously you don’t have to shout at the end.

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