The Toilets Of The Wirral #1

Posted by Lord Davidd of Birko OBE DASc on
Category: Local Stuff23 Comments

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Today we are starting a brand new, highly exciting feature which I feel must go down as one of the most exhilarating pieces we have ever written here on Jammy Toast. Today, for the first time ever, I feel we had just better warn anyone who has a heart condition, or who is easily excitable, to just take this slowly and do not read/view this post all at once. Over-excitement could result if you consume this little post too quickly – I would also recommend sitting down. Now, as many of you know, Razzi and I teach people to drive around the Wirral and one of the draw-backs to this is when we need an emergency wee-wee. Public Toilets around the Wirral a very few and far between. So today, we are starting a new feature where we will introduce you to the wonderful toiletry arrangements offered by the Wirral Metropolitan Borough Council.

Today we are covering the toilets situated on the Marine Promenade at the Harrison Drive end. Approaching from Harrison Drive on the right hand side just before the roundabout leading to the promenade itself, you will find the toilet block. The building itself is rather dilapidated but the real fun part about this and Meols toilets is the opening times. According to the Wirral Council website, opening times for this toilet is from 9am until 5pm. During the summer months however, closing times are extended to 6:30pm for coastal sites. This is an out-and-out lie as if you want a quick wee-wee at New Brighton, Meols, Hoylake or West Kirby after 4pm you can just plain forget it.

Meols is an exception to this as some days the guy who maintains the toilets tends to have an impromptu day off and doesn’t bother opening at all. Even in the summer months. Some days the toilets remain padlocked even when the others are open. He also finishes early on most days so you can forget having a toilet break here after 3:30pm.

The council also states that: “All toilets have disabled facilities with Radar locks which are available during opening hours.” This is true but does not include days when the Meols attendant takes one of his spontaneous days off.

However, back to New Brighton.

I would sincerely like to thank the attendant here who many afternoons while closing shop hears the squealing of tyres as I pull up in need of an emergency wee-wee and always me access, after he has cleaned up. I always promise I will endeavour not to piddle on the floor he has just cleaned but Mr Attendant, whoever you are, thank you very glad!

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About the Author

Lord Davidd of Birko OBE DASc

A sad and lonely old man who used to have a life but it has now been taken over by his dedication to the cause of saving Renault Bears, running Jammy Toast and searching eBay, car boot sales, charity shops, lofts and even under beds for his beloved bears. He has even now taken in Flat Eric to save him from homelessness – his life is no longer his own!


23 Comments on “The Toilets Of The Wirral #1”

    1. Not here on the Wirral, they are all free here. However over the river in Liverpool there are many places where you have to pay to spend a penny. In Crosby for example, it costs 30p to spend a penny.

      Now that is inflation for you!

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