Wishing For Change

Posted by Mr Benn on
Category: Mr Benn's Adventures42 Comments

Ilooked out of the window at number 52 Festive Road and all I could see were children and their parents all walking to the park. I followed to find out why. There is a magic show at the park, I discover, and as I watch the display I think of a certain shop not far away I would like to visit. In the costume shop I found a starry, glittery costume and the shopkeeper appeared and invited me to try it on to see how well it fits.

As I step out of the changing room, I find myself in a cavern packed with shelves from floor to ceiling and on every shelf is crammed books, jars, packets and other intriguing sundry. I studying a book called “Useful Spells” when in walk two men from the Palace.

They have been sent to find a wizard – will I go with them?

I was happy to oblige and soon we were all clip-clopping our way through lovely countryside in a horse-drawn carriage. People wave as we pass and everyone looks remarkably happy: “Oh they are happy,” said my companions. “Our King is a good King, everybody loves him.”

At the Palace, I was led into the great hall where many worried people are gathered. At the head of the hall sat a King and Queen. The Queen is an impressive stately woman. The King is a short happy man. This is a problem as the Queen sees it, the King is just not regal enough for a start, he is too placid: “He should jump about more.”

Could I cast a spell to make this happen?

I consulted my book, saying the appropriate spell, waved a magic wand and sure enough the King begins to jump about all over the floor, rather like a frog. “Stop!” commands the Queen. That isn’t what she had in mind at all. I quickly found the spell to reverse the charm.

The Queen explained that the problem is that the King should be bigger and stronger. I say the relevant spell and the King begins to grow big, too big for the chair, and strong – he gives a soldier a gentle pat and a whole line of them fall over like dominoes. “Stop!” shouts the Queen. Again, I say the words and wave my wand to reverse the spell.

Perhaps strong is not right, suggests the Queen, but a King should certainly be tall and elegant, and she orders me to make him so. I read the spell for height and elegance and the King begins to grow and grow. The Queen calls out stop just before her King reaches the ceiling, and I reverse the spell again.

Exasperated, the Queen tries to make the King more statuesque. But, of course, he turns into stone. She tries to explain to me that she… but I cut her short. “Things cannot be changed to and fro forever,” I say and I refuse to cast another spell. The Queen begs me to work one more charm, to reverse the spell and bring the King back to normal: “It’s not important how he looks, I realise that now.”

I reverse the spell and the Queen and crowd rejoice. The King smiles and thanks me.

Back in the shop I change into my normal clothes and thank the shopkeeper. “I liked that King,” I said, “I’m glad he wasn’t changed.”

“Thanks to you, Sir,” says the shopkeeper.

As I walk home to 52 Festive Road nothing has changed here in this cheerful, ordinary street.

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About the Author

Mr Benn

Mr Benn is a normal bowler hat-wearing gentleman who lives in an ordinary residential street in London. Every day he visits a costume shop where he meets the shopkeeper who, as if by magic, sends him off on another exciting adventure. Mr Benn is now a cult phenomenon appearing first in books and later as the star of a BBC television series in the 1970s.

42 Comments on “Wishing For Change”

    1. I’ve noticed a new trend that rather than dressing them in high end Gortex coats they are forcing them to wear flimsy linen/summer jackets to make them look even wetter.

      1. I’m quite irked about this policy tbh . I prefer my reporters to look like hikers not out for a cheeky Nando’s . What ever a cheeky Nando’s may be leave that stuff to da Yoof . Did get fleeced in Franky & Bennies the other week . Urgh !

    1. I’m sorry, although you don’t have to comment on any given subject, it does need to be a comment that other people find interesting/funny etc… not how much you love Lucie on Love Island!

  1. Sleeping in a tent is so relaxing. You can hear the leaves rustling, the loons calling out on the lake and, if you listen closely, whimpering teenagers crying out softly “Wifi, Wifiiiii”…

  2. My wife & I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire in bed

    I turned to her & said, “Do you want to have sex?”

    “No,” she said.

    I said, “Is that your final answer?”

    She didn’t look at me & said, “Yes!”

    I said, “I’d like to phone a friend.”

    That’s when the fight started!

  3. I’m not a violent man but won’t hesitate to lay a beat down on a vending machine that thinks it’s gonna leave my Cheez-Its just hanging there.

    Let it beat you once and you’re its bitch.

  4. “Eeyore, when I say ‘Now!’ Pooh will drop his stone.”
    “Thank you very much, Rabbit, but I expect I shall know.”
    “Are you ready?”
    “No,” said Eeyore.
    “Now!” said Rabbit.
    Pooh dropped his stone. There was a loud splash, and Eeyore disappeared…

  5. A Kleeneze catalogue gets put through my letterbox every month and a couple of days later a calls to collect it. This has been going on for years now. Wouldn’t it be easier if they just sent it to her in the first place?

    Doug Roberts, via e-mail.

  6. so far this morning ive seen a man punching a big fat hairy gaping fanny, a man with swollen bollocks dragging on the floor and a man with ‘lazzy bands round his purple dick. what is wrong with yous people?

  7. Bloomin eck, vets earn nearly as much as plumbers. Knobhead’s had a reaction to something. Probably nettles . Then scratched a little hole in his face , which healed and the scab has just been knocked off by having a dust up with some big dog in the Arno .

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