Yorkshire: Land Of The Early To Bed – Revisited

Posted by Lord Davidd of Birko OBE DASc on
Category: Classic Toast21 Comments

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The White Horse pub where we stayed and the infamous Chippy next door.

Hello everyone, Razzi and I are back from our journey to the dark side with a word of advice to anyone who ever has to visit Ripon – DON’T – or at least don’t go via National Express. When I booked our tickets I wondered why the time-table stated 10:15am and when I clicked on the “Travel Later” button there wasn’t a later coach available. That is because it took us NINE HOURS. The coach travels via every tin-pot place in the country and stops for an hour at each, plus two hours in Manchester.

It took Razzi and me two-and-a-half hours to travel back in the car last night and that was during the rush hour traffic. If you compare the car time to the nine hours to get there you realise just how slow those coaches go. To make matters worse, Razzi and I are now riddled with Yorkshire bugs and we both have colds!

While we are on the subject of Yorkshire, if you do ever get the chance to go there do not buy anything from a chippy that is in batter. They call it “Yorkshire batter” and the only reason I can think of for calling it that is because it is as thick as Yorkshire granite. It is also burnt to an absolute crisp and you need a sledgehammer to smash it open.

And another thing…

ALL CHIP SHOPS ALSO CLOSE AT 8PM!

If you want some chips after that ungodly hour then you have to make them yourself. Razzi is under the impression that the whole of Yorkshire goes to bed at 9pm because we never saw or heard another soul after that time. Having said that, we did meet some very nice, friendly people while we were there but it is just a shame they have to live in a third world country.

We were going to get Razzi to tell this story but he is too ill in bed with his little Bear sniffles. We will let him write a post once he is fully recovered.

Classic Toast
The above post first appeared on Jammy Toast way back on 8th October 2011. The original Jammy Post Blog featured the original trio of Queen Ananasty, Princess Chimpton and Servant Dave (later to become Bearkeeper Dave, Davidd Bearkeeper or even just plain Davidd) and a few bears. Just who decided on that order of seniority is beyond me, but they were fun times. It was the early days of a journey down a long and winding road…

Garfield StripGarfield is copyright © Paws, Inc. If you like the cartoons we reproduce here on Jammy Toast, please consider purchasing some of the Garfield merchandise. These are available through Garfield.com where you can view them in full-colour and at a higher quality!



About the Author

Lord Davidd of Birko OBE DASc

A sad and lonely old man who used to have a life but it has now been taken over by his dedication to the cause of saving Renault Bears, running Jammy Toast and searching eBay, car boot sales, charity shops, lofts and even under beds for his beloved bears. He has even now taken in Flat Eric to save him from homelessness – his life is no longer his own!


21 Comments on “Yorkshire: Land Of The Early To Bed – Revisited”

    1. So how do you know when you have wandered off too far south that your not in the north anymore?

      People stop smiling at each other in the street!

      Miserable fuckers down south!!

    2. …and can you explain to me why down south they don’t like serving a meal on a plate instead of putting the burger on a chopping board and the chips in a mug?

      What’s going on there?

  1. A kid made fun of my son for being short so now I have to kick an 8yo boy in the nuts. My fury is extra cuz im short as hell and his tininess is literally my fault. This little shit will pay.

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